My ex-boss and I got to be close friends several months ago (she’s 45, I’m 30).
When we started to go out as friends, she was still my boss, then she left for a job closer to home.
She’s married with two kids, 9 and 13, but really unhappy in her marriage (she says she’s only there for the kids).
The day she left we had a party at a bar, and we kissed for the first time. Since then, she’s said she never regretted that, but couldn’t go further.
I accepted that.
We still see each other, have dates, and a quick peck on the lips. We enjoy each other’s company, she tells me a lot about her troubles with her husband.
Does it mean she likes me?
Does she want to be more than friends?
- I Don’t Understand Her
Read my lips: She’s not leaving him for you.
Yes, she likes your company – she enjoys your flattering interest plus your listening ear for her troubles, and having a good time with a friend (which is what you are).
But if she wanted a relationship, she’d let you know.
I’m not talking about a quick fling, which clearly could happen if you both let your guard down one night. But don’t do it. She’s trying NOT to have an affair with you.
If you feel you’re starting to care too much for her, back off.
Date women who are truly available, and not in marital limbo, which may go on and on.
Recently, my seven-year relationship ended. I’m now dating someone and falling in love.
Initially, he was very affectionate; we see each other on weekends, he calls every night, but I'd like more from him emotionally and to spend more time together. I told him this, but he doesn’t do anything about it.
He has issues – dealing with losing a twin brother seven years ago.
I try to be supportive but keep going back to my ex-boyfriend for emotional support, only no sex.
My present boyfriend also has many female friends whom I’ve met.
Though I’m beautiful and smart, I get jealous because he listens to their problems and offers resolutions, which he doesn’t do for me. I suspect that one woman has feelings for him.
I’m thinking about leaving him, but don’t want to. I want a serious relationship even though I’m 22.
I messed up and stated I wasn’t ready for marriage; he then responded he felt the same.
Now I don’t know how to ask or find out what are his intentions.
It sounds like your goal of a serious relationship leading to marriage is what’s driving you, more than love for this particular guy.
If so, it’s time to give up on your current relationship as it’s not meeting your needs.
This man is emotionally distant, he’s told you he’s not interested in marriage, he keeps a flock of women friends around by acting as their advisor yet holds you off till your allotted time slot.
But at 22, you have a lot more options than bouncing back to an ex whom you met as a young teen.
These two relationships have hopefully given you some insight into what you’re really seeking from a partner.
You need time on your own awhile, rather than running from one man to another, in order to be more selective about dating in the future.
I'm 37, separated for five years, very independent, educated and have a good job. But I can't find a boyfriend.
I've tried Internet dating and the bar scene, but never found someone who wants what I want.
I miss the affection, the sex, the feeling of taking care of each other.
I don't want to marry, just to love and be loved for who I am.
- Hopeless Romantic
There’s nothing wrong with seeking true love, but when it comes to the dating scene, it’s best to start with small steps and practical expectations.
If you’re looking for someone to be The One from earliest meeting, you’re gazing too high.
Allow time for getting to know the men whose company seems pleasant, let mutual interest build and see if chemistry exists.
To love and be loved long-term you need to develop a base of mutual understanding, shared confidences, trust and respect.
Tip of the day:
When a married person doesn’t want a friendship to “go further,” back off any other expectations, for everyone’s sake.