None of my siblings have spoken to my father since my parents’ divorce 10 years ago, but I’ve maintained a relationship with him.     
      He’s generally amicable and caring, but regarding my mother and her family he’s irrational. He said he wouldn’t be at my wedding, but we could have a reception later just for his family.    
      However, though I wanted to invite some of his nieces and nephews to the wedding, I learned he’d forbidden them from coming (because my mother and her family will be there).     
      I was amazed that he can control adult relatives, using emotional blackmail and shunning. One relative came to my sister’s wedding and he hasn’t spoken to him since.    
      I don’t want to have a relationship with someone who values hatred over love, nor expose my fiancée to this. Yet I feel it’s important to keep ties with my father. It would devastate him if I cut him off and I’m a little afraid of what he might do.
      - Hurt and Torn

Take control of your own responses to your father. On matters where you know he’s “irrational,” make your own decisions. Do NOT show fear, that’s where he gains his control. Think through the wedding invitations: If there are going to be two celebrations, you may be best off to leave it at that.     
      BUT, if you dearly want some of his relatives at the wedding ceremony, invite them; it’s up to them. Take your father-son relationship one phase at a time. He’s not going to change, but you can develop the strength to handle events as you choose.     
      Weddings are an emotional time for you all, not the best time for final decisions about him.

I’m with a wonderful man - we're both young (20s), best friends and have been through a lot together. We both had difficult childhoods with abuse.  
      I've been dealing with depression for eight years. I feel trapped and when at my lowest, I can't be around others; it makes me feel like too much of a “deadbeat.”     
      I think mean things (unfounded), e.g. he must not take me seriously due to my silence or tangential rambling, especially as he can articulate when he’s unhappy.     
      I feel paranoid, like I'm either spending time with him as a wet blanket, or disappointing him by not opening up.
      - Tormented

This is about your battle with depression, not about your relationship. Separate the two, through professional treatment.    
      It’s essential to all your relationships - and the most important one with yourself – that you get help. A good therapist (along with medication, if absolutely necessary, or alternative treatments) will help you anticipate and handle mood changes before you sink too low.    
      Learn also to trust your guy. He knows what you’re going through and loves you, so there’s no reason to assume he’s “disappointed” in you. Just look after yourself.

My “old friend” travels a lot; I’m busy with a demanding job. Yet, she always acts like I’m the one who hasn’t called or tried to get together. She can be charming, but she’s also narcissistic.    
      Recently, I told her I had a serious personal problem, and then didn’t hear from her in months, only to be accused of letting the old friendship down.
      - Fed Up

Where’s the friendship? You both manage full lives for long periods without each other. “Charm” is hardly enough to maintain a close relationship. Be pleasant when you see her and drop the label of “old friends.” You’re current acquaintances.

My boyfriend and I only see each other during the summer and winter holidays. We’re soon moving in together, yet as an only child, I enjoy being alone. I feel it’s how I keep myself sane.    
      Should I expect to get used to being with someone constantly, or will I just need to try extra hard to make alone time for myself?
      - Concerned

Unless you’re both planning to be unemployed and/or unsociable, there’ll be a natural structure to your days that keep you apart (working, school, having time with other friends).     
      Most couples that love each other also understand each other’s need for personal “alone” time – whether it’s reading, doing personal “stuff,” whatever.    
      Instead of worrying, think ahead to when that time can work for both of you, e.g. a couple of hours after dinner, or part of a weekend day. But give equal thought to how to enjoy your time together.