My boyfriend of six months and I moved in together. Feeling insecure, I searched his email.

I discovered that, several months ago, he was posting ads to meet men to perform sexual favors.

I kicked him out. He constantly contacts me with apologies, saying he wants to make this work; he’ll even go to therapy.

Can our relationship be fixed or do I just stay away? Is he gay? Or is this a fetish?

Uncertain

He needs to work out his own answers. Whether a fetish, or uncertainty about his sexual identity, living together as a couple is unwise for now, for both your sakes.

Therapy’s a good start for his understanding more about himself. It should NOT be done to please you or prove any point.

For the next few months, stay apart and somewhat distant. Make it clear this isn’t punitive or from anger. You may one day reconnect as friends…. possibly more.

For now, you’d be an excuse to ignore this strong signal that he needs time for self-seeking, on his own.

I believe I’m the family "matriarch" because my siblings constantly call on me for advice.

However, there’s one brother who, when I give him advice, he does the complete opposite. And I take great offence to it.

It offends me, as I'm proud to be this person for my siblings and he purposely does the opposite and I'm fed up with it.

So, I told him just this, and it doesn't penetrate his brain - he just doesn't get it.

Recently, he had a car of his for sale on the Internet and the photos of this car were just horrible. He wrote me to look at the ad and I told him, nicely, that the other photos he has are way better and to use those.

Doesn't he add more of the same horrible photos and removed the one that I referred to as the best of the bunch! Needless to say, the car hasn't sold. Drives me nuts...

One of my core values as a Myers-Briggs INFP personality type is to be respected for my ability to care deeply about others and to want only the best for them, as it pertains to my unique ability in "helping" others.

When someone purposely brushes me off, it hurts me deeply. My brother does this time and again and I'm so fixated on it, I'm not sure what to do anymore.

Please give me some perspective on how I might cope with this.

Distressed

When social scientists developed the Myers-Briggs Type Instrument for personalities they never promised that every person you related to would appreciate your help.

Your brother differs from you, and clearly resents your approach. Perhaps your “matriarchal” advice comes off as controlling, or know-it-all. Yes, you mean well, but you’re not considering his personality type.

Being a caring advisor does NOT mean everyone will do as you suggest. As an advice columnist, I have to know that, and so should you. Sometimes the value of an advice-giver is the very fact it prompts some people to react the way theywant, with more certainty.

Next time your brother seeks advice, ask him what he’s thinking he should do. My guess is he wants acknowledgement from you that he’s able to make his own decisions. If the car doesn’t sell, it’s up to him to figure out why.

A true matriarch knows her job is done well when the kids are able to act independently.

I’m a girl in Grade 9 with this crush on a girl in Grade 10, but we don't know each other. We’ve seen each other in the hallways but if I tell her that I like her she may feel uneasy because we’re strangers.

But I also have a feeling she likes me back.

Confused

I frequently receive questions like this from girls your age, and I hope that’s reassuring. Girl-on-girl crushes are part of the female early-teenage learning curve. When older, you may still seek same-sex relationships, OR not. This crush isn’t proof either way.

Meanwhile, it’s all about awkwardness and uncertainty unless there are clear responses.

Smile, and say hello when you get the chance. If she ignores you, back off. If she responds in kind, you’re only at the start of getting to know each other. Hold back the “like” word while you build a real friendship.