I think there’s something physically wrong with me, but no one is paying attention. I have a high-powered job and a lot going on in my life right now. I have a sibling who’s in a mental health crisis, a parent who is declining physically, and a partner who I think is going through a mid-life crisis.

I can’t lean on any of them because they’re all so self-involved at the minute. I don’t blame them but I’m out here on my own without any support. I’ve gone to my family doctor, but she can’t find anything wrong. I’ve had a barrage of tests, but nothing shows up.

I’m convinced however that something is definitely wrong. I admit I’ve turned to Dr. Google, which I know is a mistake, and yes, it has amped up the fear. But I didn’t know what else to do. Advice?

Alone and Unwell

If you believe that there’s something wrong with you, then you need to get help figuring out what that is. If your family doctor has exhausted all her ideas, ask her to refer you to another doctor. If you don’t know where to start, focus on where the problem lies. But that could take a while, and I’m concerned that something is festering.

If you’re also feeling that pressure, take yourself to the Emergency at your local hospital and tell them everything. I know a woman who recently had many symptoms that didn’t connect, nor had a diagnosis. She wasn’t getting better until finally someone thought out of the box and did alternative testing to what seemed appropriate. That’s when they found the culprit.

I strongly believe that we are well in tune with our own bodies and need to trust our gut feelings, no pun intended. Be persistent. I hope you get to the bottom of this quickly.

If you have any spare time and emotional bandwidth, try to get your sibling the help they need. That goes for your parent and your partner. It sounds as though they all need professional help that is outside your scope. If they can all get the help they need, some of the pressure may be lifted off you.

My daughter begged us to let her go on vacation with her boyfriend and his family over the holidays. We were uncomfortable because we don’t know the family that well at all. We acquiesced and paid for our daughter’s flight. We offered to pay for half of the room, but they refused. And we told her to pay for one full dinner, for everyone, on us, as a thank you for bringing her along.

But something happened on that trip, and I can’t get any information out of her. She never paid for dinner; apparently, though she tried, they would never allow it. We gave her spending money and she had her own, but she came back with almost all of it.

On the surface, it sounds as though they are very generous people, but I think there’s more to it. I know my daughter and something is amiss. What do I do?

Parental Instinct

As I often say, I strongly believe in gut feelings and instinct, especially when it comes to parenting and our own health.

Talk to your daughter. Tell her that YOU feel uncomfortable with how generous his parents were towards her and YOU would like to send them some money. Write them an email of gratitude for your daughter’s vacation and e-transfer them.

Then ask your daughter if she wants to talk to someone else (i.e. a professional) about how the vacation went down, just to work through anything out loud. Hopefully, she’ll say yes. You may be right to be concerned.

FEEDBACK Regarding the protective brothers (Oct. 23):
Reader – “I see SO many red flags in this story indicating high potential of sibling sexual abuse. A 14-year-old girl with presumably late teen brothers is something to keep an eye on always but that they’re fighting over driving her (alone); the power dynamic that mom thinks is OK; and their input into how she dresses, etc.
“It’s all very worrisome.”

FEEDBACK Regarding the swearing 10-year-old (Oct. 27):

Reader – “Whatever happened to consequences for bad behaviour? No wonder schools are overrun with unruly, misbehaving brats. No parental control.

“If the adults swear in his presence, then his role models need to change too. A swear jar for ALL of them. If the kid has no money, then he pulls a consequence slip out of the jar. For example - wash your mouth out with soap, clean the toilets, change your baby brother’s diaper.”