Every relationship I've had has been abusive one way or another. I thought this one was different, but I was wrong.

We moved out west two years ago. He doesn't like any social activities, restaurants, not even going for a walk with our dog.

We sit at home every night watching movies. I've met some cool people and found one great gal friend.

He was travelling for work so I saw her as much as I pleased, but since he's working in town now, he considers every minute we’re not working as "our time."

I had three jobs, quit all but one. I’m depressed, sad, lonely, all at 22.

My mother’s only advice is to forget about him, but I'm not confident that I could manage on my own, financially, or find a place near work that allows dogs.

Broken Soul

Save Yourself.

Only YOU can make the changes you want, and they can happen if you stop hiding behind excuses.

There will be a place that allows dogs, if you look hard enough. There will be other jobs if needed (you already have found three!).

At 22, you’ve seen enough of your own relationship pattern to know you choose guys who appear caring of you, but turn out to be controllers, which they exhibit in abusive ways.

This current boyfriend can’t allow you time on your own. It reveals his insecurity about you as a couple, and about himself.

But you’re wise enough even at 22 to know this is harming you. So try to push your way out of depression (unless it’s overwhelming, in which case get to a hospital clinic for help).

A local women’s agency/shelter or YWCA will have counselors who can help direct you to affordable housing and a safe transition from living with this guy who’s all wrong for you.

Do this, and you’ll start a new pattern of personal strength and resolve to take care of yourself first, before you start a next relationship.

I was put into foster care at ten, bounced around six different homes, hoping I’d eventually live with, or near, my mother.

Six months before my being released from care, she died suddenly at 39.

A new couple took me in right away, but I still acted out. And I became pregnant.

They were very supportive, even there for my daughter’s birth. She’s now four, and the best thing in my life.

My foster parents have adopted her, unofficially, as their granddaughter. I happily agreed, as I'm a single parent without any other family.

I have zero help, she’s never spent a night away from me, and I need a break. But they’ll only take her for a few hours.

They occasionally take their other adopted grandchild overnight. When I've brought it up, I hear that I made my own bed.

Am I asking too much, or just enjoy what they offer?

Making friends isn’t easy without any grown-up time.

Constant Single Mom

They sound like very loving “grandparents,” so I suspect they’re concerned for your daughter, lest you be drawn into a lifestyle that leaves her with others, as happened so sadly in your own life.

They’re truly behaving as “family” for you and your child.

Find a network of other single parents (dads as well as moms) with their children - usually found through community organizations and churches, etc. These groups have family-style activities and also provide some babysitting services for the adults to meet without their kids.

I’m a teenage girl recently seeing this “perfect” guy a year older than me.

Then, I learned that he sent an inappropriate picture of himself to another girl.

He said it was true but it was before he started liking me.

I got mad because I don’t want to be with somebody who’s done that sort of stuff.

He keeps apologizing, insisting he’s not a cheater, liar, or a player, that he was just being a typical teenage guy.

I’ve started to get strong feelings for him.

Should I give him a chance or try to forget about him?

High Standard

Explain that this is about your personal standards, not about jealousy or control. Say you’ll give him a second chance, but not a third. Then hold back your “strong feelings” till you’re sure that he’s sincere and caring.

Remember, you’re both young so he’s unlikely to be your boyfriend forever.