My son’s friendly with a very nice boy who lives across the street. There are two other siblings, girls, in the family. The mother is pleasant, but cool; we only speak to each other when we meet on the street.

The two boys, age six, go to different schools so see each other more in the summer than during the school year. The neighbours have a pool and sometimes invite my son to swim there, always with an adult watching, usually the father.

Recently, my son said that when swimming there, his friend’s father sat in a chair in his robe, but when it slipped aside, my son said he was wearing ladies frilly underpants, not a bathing suit.

I’m at a loss about how to react. Of course I know there are cross-dressers, but I don’t know if I’m comfortable with my child being around one.

I also don’t know how to explain this to him.

Shocked

The comforting thing about a six-year-old child, is how rarely their reactions reflect the fears, prejudices, and misconceptions of adults, unless they’re told them.

Your son saw something that was different from what he expected, and reported it. Unless you suspected more had happened, your own initial reaction need not be alarmed or suspicious.

The father, as a cross-dresser, is not necessarily gay or bisexual (most cross-dressers aren’t), and even if he were, this would not of itself imply any danger to your son.

People of both sexes cross-dress for a variety of reasons, yet many are married, have children and the vast, vast majority would present no risk to children, and more than others who don’t cross-dress.

That said, you have a right to limit your child to too many exposures to things that can only be explained very simply at his age level, as in “I guess his father just likes wearing them.”

You should be present under any circumstances, when your child swims at another’s pool, to ensure the constancy of his being watched for safety in the water.

So next time he’s invited, take a pitcher of lemonade and go along. You may have a chance to get to know the father better, and find he’s less “different” than you’re wondering.

A boy I know is always trying to get together, at his place or mine, but only when our parents are out which is often, as everyone’s at work.

He never wants to hang out with his friends, and me just me alone.

He wants me to go all the way with him. He says we should do it, because it’ll make us closer. I’m 16 and I’ve wanted a boyfriend for a while now. I have friends who’ve had sex, but I haven’t. I’m a little scared but a little excited too. But I’m not sure if that’s the only reason he likes me.

Confused

It may not be the only reason, but it sure is the main one right now. His moves are obvious – always seeing you alone, not going out together.

He’s not trying to be your boyfriend… he behaves like a young guy who only wants sex. You want more from a relationship than just satisfying what someone else wants.

Wait till a real boyfriend comes along, and one will. It’ll be someone who’s proud of you, wants to take you out places to have fun together, and also likes sharing time with you and his friends.

I discuss things with my male hairdresser, which makes my husband jealous. I find it ridiculous, because such chats are very common with hairdressers.

My husband says it’s wrong to share private information with service people. His attitude is very upsetting to me. Am I wrong to have close talks with another man (gay) periodically, or must I agree with my husband and change hairdressers because this one knows too much?

Upset

Several issues are being blown about - just how personal are the details that you’re sharing, why you then report this to your husband when you know how he feels, and when should you respect his feelings vs. how much control he has over your choice of hairdresser.

Try less chatter, same hairdresser, and fewer reports. You’ll acknowledge your partner’s feelings but keep your own choice of stylist. If he still demands that you change, you have other problems to face together.