I met a girl online and we clicked. 

After a month of dating she caught me online. I was just looking at profiles, not responding to anyone. She asked me to delete the profile if I wanted to be with her; I did.

Six months later I had profiles up on other dating sites (NO PICTURE), she was monitoring my emails and discovered I’d been on a site. She ended the relationship.

We were actually engaged at one point but she called everything off even prior to this problem. I think the punishment was too severe as I didn’t communicate with anyone, nor did anyone communicate with me. I didn’t even have a paid account and could prove it.

I know what I did was wrong but I don’t believe the crime justified the punishment.

- Need Feedback

Sorry, you don’t get a lesser sentence than a break-up for repeatedly being a jerk instead of a bastard. You kept your options open throughout the relationship, and she lost trust. 

Instead of showing abject remorse and ending all connections to dating sites, you’re still justifying why it was okay six months later! It’s obvious that she broke the engagement because she could sense your lack of commitment.

Instead of protesting semi-innocence, learn from your mistake next time you want a relationship to last.

I’m 22, with a son, age 4; I separated from his father because of his constant cheating. He asked for forgiveness and I always went back, until I gave up. I paid for everything, he never helped out. 

I started dating a friend one year ago. He’s always been there for me. My son loves him and he treats my son as his. But we had problems because I couldn’t trust anyone, and he doesn’t trust me talking to my son’s father.

I let my son stay with his father every other week; he still calls me and sends messages saying he still loves me, but he has a girlfriend. I don’t love him, anymore, but I don’t want my son to be without a father like I was.

My new boyfriend says he loves me but that I need to change. I really want to, I don’t want to lose him.

What can I do to get him to trust me again?

- Need help

Your son’s father was a deadbeat…but you’re the one who allowed it to go on a while. That was then. 

This boyfriend has proven himself to be the opposite kind, so applying the same trust issues to him is unfair. He’s right to want you to show real change.

If you want him to stay in your life, you need to discuss with him your ex’es access to his son. Your boyfriend needs to accept there’ll be some communication - only about the boy - between you and your ex. But all other conversation should be cut off, and his “love” messages ignored.

Be firm about distancing yourself, and your good guy will come to trust you.

My daughter, 27, will suddenly take off on her own for a vacation, between freelance jobs. 

She’s beautiful and outgoing, but is too open and friendly with strangers. What can I say without being a nag?

- Worried

Get her thinking through her plans herself and show interest in her destination. Example: if a resort, is it in a secluded area? Is there good security? 

Make sure you have contact numbers, and stay in touch without showing excessive anxiety.

My husband of three years has told me intimate, sexual details about his past relationships, making me very uncomfortable. Initially, I didn’t know how to respond. 

Recently, he mentioned an old girlfriend and I completely lost it. I also found old photos of ex-girlfriends. He even contacted one and showed me her on Facebook.

I can’t get past the images he put in my head. I know he loves me and is a good husband and father, but how could he hurt me so much?

- Depressed

He was bragging – thoughtless, macho-type boasting more common to high schoolers, and inappropriate with his wife. BUT, you didn’t respond, and he likely thought he was impressing you, or turning you on. He knows differently, now. 

Be forthright – the photos have to go, the Facebook contact ended, his Big Mouth zipped. He’s in a mature relationship, with lovemaking fresh and personal between only you two.