Dear Readers – One guaranteed attention-getter to a specific column is a question about a relationship issue concerning a pet. Animal lovers among you are quick to respond with suggestions, many of them unique, and hopefully helpful. Here are some:

FEEDBACK Regarding the divorced woman with an allergic boyfriend and a cat her children love (March 1):

Reader #1 – “Although I agree with some of your suggestions, I do think the mother should keep the cat.

“Coming from a divorced family, with a cat, my mom brought a boyfriend into the picture. If he’d been allergic and she’d even suggested we had to give the cat away, we’d never have forgiven her.

“To me, this would affirm to the kids that the guy trumps the them.

“Also, she should be setting an example that when you adopt an animal, you take care of it for life.
“My other suggestion would be: Can their dad take it?”

Reader #2 – “I wonder if she brought home the cat in order to be rid of her boyfriend.  She chose to please her daughters in spite of his allergy.

“Perhaps she couldn't bring herself to tell her boyfriend directly that she needed him out of her life. Getting the cat was a win-win situation - pleasing her daughters and ending her relationship?”

Ellie – Interesting psychological analysis that would likely apply in some situations, but she now says she regrets getting the cat. It also seems she left her marriage for this guy.

Reader #3 – “I’m also severely allergic. I have two fur balls of my own. It definitely gets easier the more I'm exposed to it.

“But when I leave for a week and see my cats again, my allergies go off the wall.

“Building up the immunity works miracles. My doctor put me on an antihistamine when I need it for situations that are too hard to handle.

“He also suggested keeping the kitties from the upper level of my house, and keeping it nice and airy when it's possible.

“We’ve have also set up the basement with various toys, beds, and play furniture for them, so they stay down there at night.

“It's mostly manageable, and meds for the days when it gets severe.

“There are shampoos for cats to reduce allergens, and air spray works well in addition.

“Cats are members of the family, and should not be given away. Her boyfriend might be severely allergic now, but it can get better and easier.”

Reader #4 – “Oh for heaven's sake! Just get rid of the CAT! If the kids are going to abandon their mother it won't be because of that.

“It’ll be because they can’t possibly trust or respect a mother who demonstrates such ill regard and disrespect for the man she professes to love... and for herself.

“It also sounds like the boyfriend has little self-respect either. He’s still around!

“Kids need healthy boundaries.”

Reader #5 – “If she has a full-house centralized heating system, installing an air-purifying system can help most people with severe allergies to live with a cat in the house. Not cheap, but worth it to save a relationship for all (from an air-purifying salesman).”

Reader #6 – “I too had a boyfriend who was allergic to cats. I solved the problem by giving my cat a bath every two weeks. It’s the dried saliva in their coats that causes the allergies, and a bi-weekly bath made life much easier for my friend.”

My friend at college is called a prodigy; she started higher education when other kids were in grade school.

She’s 15 now; I’m 19. She’s socially behind the normal college age group, and me and it’s pretty bad.

Some guys around the campus are verbally abusing her, but she seems to not even understand what's going on. Or maybe she’s just ignoring it.

Concerned Friend

Try to casually bring other friends into a supportive network with her, so the college bullies see she’s not alone.

Then proceed sensitively. Ask her in general, as a friend, how things are going. If she’s noncommittal, say you’d imagine it’s hard to handle some of the rough ways of the older students.

If she opens the door even a crack, suggest she talk to someone in student services about the social side of being so young in college.

And if things get worse, report the abuse you witness, with her.