My daughter suffers from terrible body dysmorphia. She’s in her 20s and is convinced that she is overweight. Sadly, she is very much UNDERweight. We have tried everything: taking her to a nutritionist, a psychologist, her family doctor, a weight loss specialist and a hypnotist. Nothing has had any positive effect.
I’m so worried about her. She won’t listen to me that she needs to eat. She’s also a runner so she runs every day for hours. She is literally skin, bones and muscle. She used to be so pretty but now she looks gaunt.
What is your advice for me? I can’t go through another year of this.
Bereft Mom
Your daughter sounds as though she is suffering from anorexia nervosa (though this is not an official diagnosis). This eating disorder is defined by a significant low body weight caused by the lack of nutrient intake relative to what the body requires. I’m surprised that none of the practitioners you have encountered have mentioned this to you. Without the proper help, your daughter probably won’t get better.
In Ontario alone, there are several well-known and successful treatment centres, such as, the Homewood health Centre and the Centre by Kyla Fox. These centres treat the individual, case by case, with the goal of getting them to a healthy body, healthy mind, and healthy lifestyle with healthy habits.
In your situation, since you mentioned that you have tried several individual practitioners, I would advise a centre where they offer everything under one roof. In that way, everyone is on board and discussing the same patient, together, to come up with a plan.
I wish you and your daughter a healthy and happy year ahead.
About six months ago I parked my vehicle next to an SUV in the parking lot of a grocery store. In the back seat was a lady breastfeeding her baby. Her door was open and beside her vehicle was a buggy full of grocery items. Sitting beside the woman was another child in a car seat and playing with a toy. Just in passing I asked the woman if she was OK and offered to put her groceries in the back of her vehicle or do anything else for her. She said it would be so helpful if I put the groceries in the back of her vehicle, which I did.
She continued to breastfeed her baby and she said she did not want to close the door of the vehicle because it restricted her movements a bit and she needed to get out to get wipes, etc. And, with the door open, she could keep an eye on her buggy full of groceries. I asked if I could stay with her, she said yes and did so for about five minutes, not watching her, just being there in case she wanted anything.
When the feeding was done, she stood up and took my hand and thanked me for being there, for helping and then…. the hug! She gave me this wonderful hug, and said she appreciated so much the offer of help.
Why can’t everyone be kind, understanding, helpful and tolerant?
Live a loving life
This question is the antithesis of a question I had in November from a woman who had a rude encounter with another patron while breastfeeding her baby in a quiet back corner of a coffee shop.
I LOVE how you respectfully offered this woman help. In my experience, people are VERY helpful to pregnant women, but once that baby is out, the kindness disappears. Hold the door for a pregnant woman, sure, but help her manoeuvre a stroller with a toddler in tow? No thanks.
Like you, I wish everyone could be kind, tolerant and helpful. Let’s lead by example.
FEEDBACK Regarding lame excuses (Oct. 23):
Reader – “I was a very busy professional woman. However, I had a secretary who could screen calls. Even though I’m retired, I turn my cellphone off in meetings, appointments and when I’m out for lunch.
“Everyone these days has cellphones and wants instant answers. Maybe the wife should text her reason for wanting fast answers. For example, ‘sick child. Please bring milk home.’
“She could also try talking to her husband when it is quiet and his phone is off. Instead of YOU messaging she could start with ‘I feel (like this) when you don’t answer. How can we make it less stressful for both of us?’
“If he doesn’t respond to a discussion approach, she may have a bigger problem as he may be disengaging from the marriage.
“Hope they find a middle of the road solution.”