My seven-years-divorced parents are "rekindling" their relationship. Though I'm very close with both, neither had the decency to inform me.

My parents spent thousands on lawyers and court battles, dwindling their accumulated wealth. My successful father made money since. My mother spent everything on living high, and poor investments.

Both used me as emotional crutches, even revealing details of their sex life.

I just don't want to talk to them, but I will. I should see a therapist but it's expensive. My mother taught me to be independent, and not need a man for financial freedom, but now I feel she's a sham, for jumping back with my father once her money ran out.

How do I deal with my huge resentment?

Alienated

You've learned the painful lesson of growing up: parents aren't perfect beings who'll behave as you see fit.

Certainly, you're correct that they should never have detailed their sexual lives. That has wrongly encouraged you to feel enmeshed with them, and deserving of being included in their decision.

Sorry, but it's their lives, even if it affects you. Same goes for their money. However, you do have every right to say how this whole situation hurts/confuses/upsets you. You need counselling, and your father can - and should - pay for it.

Your mother's encouragement towards self-sufficiency is now all the more valid, not a sham. She's wanted you to develop more internal strength and integrity than she's been able to provide for herself. Go for it.

I've been living with my boyfriend for eight months. He'd lived alone for 20 years, never married, no kids. He had a stroke years ago.

I divorced after years of an abusive marriage. My daughter, 21, is finishing university. Before jointly purchasing the house, my boyfriend agreed that she'd live with us during the summer and holidays. She depends on me financially.

Last Christmas, he shouted the "F" word at me because I didn't do something quickly enough. My daughter criticized his behaviour. He said she should leave right away.

Lately, he's mentioned repeatedly that she shouldn't live with us after graduating. He forced me to sign something stating when she has to move out.

He easily loses his temper. I usually don't respond, but my daughter tells him he's wrong; he gets mad at her, and then apologizes to us both; saying his past stroke may be a cause. He's seeing a psychologist about it. Otherwise, he treats me well, says he loves me.

But whenever discussing my daughter living at home, his language and tone hurt me. Should I stop the relationship or get counselling to work on it?

Confused

There's some wiggle room here for the relationship between you and him to improve, but little between him and your daughter.

If you love him (interestingly, you don't say), give him a chance for a while to learn to control his temper. You have a history of accepting abuse, so your daughter naturally defends you. Your guy needs to understand this too.

After graduation, she needs time to find work; you and she can then discuss how and when she's able to live independently. Your partner cannot cast her out (nor "force" you to sign anything again!), but he has a right to opinions on how long she's part of your home together.

I suspect you already believe he's inflexible on not wanting her there, period. If that's the case, you're unlikely to stay with him for long, either.

There's this girl, she's beautiful, down-to-earth, super nice. I want to be more than friends or closer friends but I don't want to seem desperate.

She just got over this guy who rejected her, is pretty depressed but covering it up. Do I comfort her about her heartbreak and slowly make my way to her heart? How?

Eager for More

Don't jump on her "heartbreak;" she's covering it so she can get past it in her own time. Be the good friend, not someone out to win her. She's likely not trusting come-ons right now, but will appreciate your trying to just have a good time together.

Come up with distractions.... going to a local ball game together, biking and having a picnic, hanging out somewhere you know she likes. Let the friendship grow naturally. She'll see that you care enough to respect her silence but you're there to listen if she wants.