I'm 24, married for two years, and always thought porn was a normal part of life. I was perfectly comfortable with my previous boyfriends watching it. I also watched.

However, I spent the majority of my first married year going to bed alone and feeling unloved. He'd stay up and take care of himself.

We have a healthy sex life now, but when I discover he's watching porn it's hard to not blow up and to forgive him. He says he doesn't want to do something that disturbs me this much, but curiosity always wins.

Now that I'm married, I feel like porn is almost cheating. I feel it means he wants to have sex with other women.

He's watching porn again. I love him, but I'm SO angry. I can't sleep in the same bed with him, or even kiss.

The old me says to relax. The new me can't get over the anger, insecurity, and rejection.

But I'm the one who's changed my views, not him. Should I trust my new instincts or my old ones?

Past vs. Present

Over time, both you and he will experience other changed views... e.g. about children, family issues, etc. Each of you will sometimes need to respect and compromise on some of these altered views. Your husband appears to have tried, but fallen back.

Ease up on your reaction. Pressuring and going cold in bed are counter-productive. Hopefully, his love for you will win over curiosity, but it takes time to end an ingrained habit.

I'm really good friends with a guy I've known for a short time, and yet I've never felt closer to anybody. If anything happened to him, I don't know what I'd do.

There are hints that our friendship could turn into something more.

Recently, in this confusion, I slept with another guy after having too many drinks at a party. Now I fear I might be pregnant with his child... I don't even remember his name! If I'm pregnant, I fear this'll destroy any prospects I have of a relationship with this guy. What should I do?

Worried

Get a pregnancy test right away. This is the No. 1 issue, not all this drama you create about the guy.

If pregnant, talk to your parents and to a counselor, to discuss the future. You sound very young, reckless about your drinking, and vulnerable. You'll need all the support you can get.

If you're not pregnant, it's time to grow up. Drinking beyond any control of yourself has proven near disastrous.

Also, thinking someone you've known only a short time is your closest person with whom you can't do without, is childish, insecure, and makes you needy instead of attractive.

You need to find ways to build your own self-esteem... and it doesn't come from fooling around drunk or leaning on others.

My husband said that while I was fast asleep one night he had intercourse with me. He thinks it's acceptable since I'm his wife. I feel it's almost the same as rape. It's my right to go to sleep and know nothing will happen to me, when I should be able to feel safe.

To do that without a person's consent while they are unaware surely can't be right. What do you think?

Curious

If having "sleep-sex" with your husband feels so unsafe, you have bigger marital problems going on. This is what you should be dealing with, more than this one incident.

A woman who volunteers with me is really upsetting me. She's negative, critical, and insulting in a roundabout way. I try not to let her bother me but I find myself not wanting to volunteer there anymore. Maybe I'm too sensitive but I don't like how I feel when I'm around her.

Unsettled

Volunteering is so needed in most communities and people who do it are to be commended and encouraged. So it's a shame that this woman is interfering with your comfort level while you're offering your help to others.

Yet she, too, is a volunteer and needed. So, proceed gently and talk privately to the organizer where you volunteer. Perhaps he/she can find another area where you'd be helpful but won't have to deal as much with this woman.

If there's no other option at that place, take your efforts to another organization that relies on the services provided by volunteers.