My older sister has always bullied me. I moved out at 20 with my daughter, age two.

My mom visited us, but my sister saw my daughter rarely over four years.

When my child was hospitalized twice with seizures, my sister never visited. For my 25th birthday, she refused to see me because I didn’t want cake (I’m battling a weight issue).

Then, she arbitrarily decided to put my daughter into soccer lessons. I said she must first bring such plans to me.

She hasn't spoken to me in months. My mother now allows her to visit my daughter weekly, without my knowledge or consent.

My sister’s using this as grounds to challenge me in court for unsupervised visitation. If successful, she’ll likely have my daughter around our father who has a history of sexually abusing two of our sisters.

I’m pregnant with my second child, working (some nights, too, when my mother babysits), raising my daughter on my own. How do I handle this?

Totally Stressed

This sibling battle could put your child at great risk, so focus on the danger, more than the power struggle, that’s always existed between you two.

Prepare a factual report of your father’s sexually abusive behaviour and get it to the court viewing your sister’s request, immediately. Insist that visitation shouldbe supervised and must prohibit your father’s presence.

Meantime, look beyond your own relationship with Bully Sis. If you believe her interest in your child is only to compete with you, you need to help your daughter have other meaningful connections.

Contact Big Sisters in your area. The organization offers adult female mentors, which can be helpful when you’re working. Soccer or any other team sport is a good idea, so long as you’re aware of where she is and with whom.

If your daughter loves her aunt, tell your sister you’d welcome her as an occasional visitor, but you are the parent, period.

I’m lost. Again. The company I was finally working at went bankrupt, and laid everyone off. I then had a miscarriage three weeks ago.

I live in a new city, have no friends, my boyfriend visits but lives in another city. I’m shy and hibernate in my apartment. I have a great therapist, but it’s so hard to pick myself up and keep going everyday.

Heartbroken

Keeping going beats all the alternatives, and is the way to work towards feeling better and positive again.

Start with seeing your doctor – a miscarriage is a loss physically, as well as emotionally. You can deal with hormonal and mood swings through your therapy, but also need medical checks and perhaps medications for a while.

Start a program to improve nutrition and fitness to buoy your energy, which will also help lift your spirits.

Give yourself time to grieve - three weeks is a short time ago, to adjust to the miscarriage and changes in expectations and plans. Tell your boyfriend you need his support now more than ever, so think whether you two can have a break together, or he can visit more often for a while. And/or consider visiting any close family who’d be nurturing at this time.

Your doctor or therapist may also be able to direct you to a support group in your area, for moms who’ve miscarried or experienced other losses.

When you have more energy for “getting going,” use your unemployed time (if receiving benefits) to boost your skills and qualifications for the next round of job seeking.

I work for a large corporation, which mandates that all employees treat people with respect. Yet a co-worker of ours who works in another city and is involved in many conference calls, is obnoxious, rude, demeaning, yells, responds sarcastically and beyond unprofessional.

He even treats his own manager horribly and embarrasses him or contradicts him during our conference calls.

However, he’s our Department Head's favorite pet.

Do we send something to HR unanimously and/or anonymously? We don’t want to get in trouble.

Uncomfortable

Go the “respectful” route yourselves, first. Have everyone who’s been present during his rude exchanges and tirades sign a report of his behaviour with dated, and specific, examples.

But if nothing changes, record him and send the tape to HR so his overt disregard for the company mandate is indisputable.

If you’re a decent-sized group that’s well established there, it’s unlikely there’ll be repercussions even if he has a protector.