I recently got back together with an ex-boyfriend whom I'd previously caught cheating on dating sites, where he was chatting with women and adding them to his Facebook. He said he never met any of them in person or physically cheated.

After three months of his begging for a second chance, I gave in, while wondering if he'd learned his lesson. One of my conditions for our getting back together was that he gives me his password to Facebook. Well, after only a couple of months together, he was fine with me coming to his house, but wasn't going out of his way to come see me.

Also, I asked him to change his relationship status on Facebook to, "in a relationship," and he refused. We argued about it several times, but he said I'm pushing him away, he wasn't going to change it, and that's that.

But I had a big problem with this because all the women from the dating sites were still on his "friends" list. Also, I discovered that he did meet at least one of the women in person during the first time we dated.

So I broke up with him, he wasn't putting in that much effort. Yet he's been messaging me, calling me, and showing up at my house ever since, saying he'll do anything and everything to make this work. But that's what he said last time. Should I give him another chance?

Two Strikes

Here's how this relationship "works" for him: He keeps you in the background, and goes his own way to see who else is out there. You're spending more time checking up on him than seeing him.

He's not "boyfriend" material, not for you, not now. He's a player; at the bottom-feeder level of pretending he's unattached, making "friends" and testing those that look hot.

Dump him - no contact, no more begging opportunities. Find a guy who's happy to have you be his only girlfriend.

I'm 22, in an 18-month relationship, getting more and more serious. He has a very high-profile job, which becomes time-consuming with events, outings, and network socializing.

We both have Facebook and I've always been very open with mine. He has not. It's unintentionally come out that he talks to other women privately, including some he's never met. It makes me feel slightly insecure with our relationship, as I don't see the relevance in it.

Anytime I raise this, he argues that he's talked to these girls in a friendly manner before we met. I've admitted to being a jealous person at times, but I don't understand his maintaining a friendship with other women in other countries.

Could this become an ongoing thing as our relationship progresses?

Am I Overreacting?

See above. It's the same issue on a different plane since the "high-level job" can be used as an excuse for outreach, networking, professional contacts, etc. BUT, if he never met the women and has no work-related dealings with them beyond online "friendship," these connections need to be discussed, not argued, and some understandings reached.

Old friendships with women who're made aware that he's in a relationship, are fine. Even better, if he brings you into their circle so you can be their friend too, if you wish.

But continued online chatting with women who aren't told about you, will fuel jealousy.... with good reason.

Time for The Talk: Is he In or Out? Attached... or a single "friend?"

I moved to attend school and took my chance to come out. Until then, I was a closet bi-sexual woman.

Now I want to come out to a very close friend back home, but am unsure how. Due to visa issues, I won't be returning for a year. I know she'd be accepting of me, even though she's straight. Is a phone call too impersonal for coming out to a longtime good friend?

Concerned

It's too impersonal for both of you. Whether by phone or email, you can misinterpret her reaction. If you catch her at the wrong time when she's hassled or hurried, she can still unwittingly say the "wrong" thing.

Next time you speak to her or email, just tell her how being away has you valuing her friendship even more, how you miss her as a close friend and look forward to seeing her when you're back.