I’ve been in an eight-month happy relationship; however, we live an hour apart.
She’s living in a small town; I’m a big city guy.
She’s highly respected in her career. I don’t love my job, but have creative pursuits outside work which are essential to my happiness.
We’ve been together every weekend since meeting. Mostly, I go to see her. The plan for marriage is that she’d like me to live with her as she’s recently bought her house, and doesn’t want to move to the city or half-way.
I love her very much and believe we’re good for each other. But, aside from a long, daily commute to work in the city, I’m uneasy that my life is going to change greatly.
I’ve voiced these fears, but it always escalates to me being accused of not wanting to be with her, when I really do.
Am I selfish for these thoughts? I feel a little cornered and stressed.

- Between A Rock And A Hard Place

The great news is that you’re in love, and understand the need for compromises. Less great, is no sense of compromise on your girlfriend’s part. There should at least be chat about “seeing how plan A works.” You both want to be together.
She must stop accusing you of not wanting this; it’s a childish “attack” tactic, instead of mature solution-seeking.
You’ve agreed to the long commute; BUT, if it becomes too arduous (e.g. in winter), there are two options, not just one. Either you find an acceptable job in her town and start working on creative projects there, too; OR, if that’s not working, you two buy a house together that’s a half-hour from each locale.
No, you’re not selfish. Make sure she isn’t, either.

I’m a professional woman who went on a social network of classmates seven years ago (during a low point in my marriage) and contacted the only person I dated before marrying my husband. We met for coffee; I felt guilty, told my husband and stopped contact.
Two years later he contacted me while I was in turmoil over close relatives dying. I lent him $1000, didn’t hear back, then sent a scathing e-mail asking why. He replied that I was being harsh and critical, our contact stopped again a year ago.
Last March, he re-surfaced through Facebook, declared undying love (again), and asked for $200 to travel to a rehab centre, which I gave him. More emails were about his abusive wife, his kids hating him, he’d become homeless etc. I lent him another $1000.
Eventually, he asked for $5000. and my VISA number to help him leave his wife. Neither of which I gave him.
Last week he accidentally sent an e-mail destined for another woman regarding helping him. He confessed there were multiple women helping him.
I’ve been a victim of an Internet sociopath. How do I help others without ruining my relationship with my husband, especially since it’s now going great?

- Feeling stupid

Stupid, yes. Victim? No. You were a willing sucker to an obvious con man.
One way to help others is through a published letter like this, which reveals clearly how easily you could’ve NOT sent the money, NOT replied, seen through his pathetic stories, etc.
Depending on the risk to your relationship, consider confiding in your husband and assuring him you’re never going to be that foolishly vulnerable again. The two of you could then alert police to this Internet scammer.

I’ve been married four and half years and I just can’t stand that my in-laws have to dictate every thing that we do. I’ve stopped going over to their place to avoid the situation.
Yet I’d like our children to have a relationship with them. What do I do?

- Wit’s End

Establish how your husband feels about his parents’ influence: How much does HE believe he has to follow their dictates? Does he agree with their ideas? Is he afraid of their disapproval?
If Yes, yes and yes, you have a marital problem more than an in-law issue. And it should be talked out together with a marriage counsellor.
However, if he also finds his parents intrusive, then he must tell them that you both want them in your lives as grandparents, not bosses. Show that you appreciate their experience in some matters, but be clear you’ll make your own decisions.