I recently learned that my boyfriend of two years cheated on his wife while he was married. He went out West to console his childhood friend about something. The affair lasted about a month. They still remain friends but she calls frequently while we're together. He speaks of me to her as, "My Little Friend."

Is it possible to end a relationship, which was sexual and emotional, and still remain friends? Should I worry about her calls? I think he should call me his girlfriend not "little friend."

Overreacting?

He's minimized you.... and he could be doing the same about their "friendship." And he's cheated on a partner in the past. Those are two factual "strikes" against him.

Point these out and make it clear that a third strike means OUT. However, he can clear the scoreboard if he'll limit his ex'es calls and be honest with her about your place in his life. If HE overreacts to all this, then you'll know you're not overreacting about his "friend."

I'm married and had an affair with my son's coach, but I knew it was wrong. Then, my lover said he didn't want to answer my many emails and phone calls so instead he came on SKYPE and requested to see my face. I, being foolish in love, did it, hoping that he'd now remain a friend for life. But after that, he just stopped everything.

When I called his work, he yelled at me to never call his work or email, text, or anything else, as he has a wife and baby (he'd never told me anything about a wife or baby).

He said if I want his friendship, to stay on the side and when he has the time, he'll talk to me. I FEEL LIKE A FOOL NOW and very ashamed. I told him to get lost and never come back in my life again. Why are people so selfish...and why do people like me who are so emotionally foolish, get used like this? He's such a good-looking guy and is fooling many people like me, and most of all, his wife.

Hurting

Back at you with my question: Why do you see yourself, and accept, that you are emotionally foolish? That self-image sets you up for getting trampled on again by the next good-looking, self-absorbed guy who comes along.

Time for you - with a son old enough to have a coach - to find your backbone and value yourself higher than having an affair with someone about whom you knew so very little other than his appearance.

After all, since he was the boy's coach, there'd have been ways to learn more about him.... especially since you knew for sure that you were cheating, and there were such great risks involved that would embarrass your son, too, that would be even worse if the guy was also a player.

That makes your behaviour as reckless as a besotted teenager's, more than just foolish. So, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, smarten up about how to take care of yourself and your son. Do the adult work of asking questions and getting to know someone before you become entangled with them.

Meanwhile clean up your household. Face up to the reality that you're dissatisfied with your marriage and need to end it, or work on it and stop looking for an illicit escape. Or, it'll be your son who's the real victim of your uncontrolled emotions, not you.

My sister spread lies about my wife and I. My mother believes everything and turned on us. We live elsewhere, but I miss my family and want to reconcile everything.

However, my wife disagrees, after all the hurt. I still talk to my father and my wife likes him, as he took no part in it. Is there a way I can fix this, so I can see my family again without my wife being angry?

Sad Son

See a therapist with your wife, to help explain why you need to try to re-connect with family. Ask your father for his view. He - and you - know about past sibling rivalries, insecurities, etc. which may have caused your sister's bitterness. Then, insist that there's no disloyalty in your visiting your family just once, alone, to try to clear things.

If they refuse to budge, stand by your wife.