My wife and her mother and sisters are all go-getters; great at the business they run together, fitness freaks, good-looking. But they make all the rules.

Everything in our life revolves around my wife's needs first... then her mother's or sisters' because it's all about keeping up business. Even getting to the gym is about their being able to do all this work.

I admire them and love my wife, but I feel like I don't count at all. Oh, she also controls how many times we have sex to keep up "her needs" (always both weekend days and Wednesday nights).

Second-class

She's a powerhouse, but you don't have to be cast as her assistant. As her partner, your needs are equally important. She understands goals and strategies in business, so tell her you want to discuss your relationship from that perspective.

What are the long-term reasons you two got together? What are the ways to achieve those goals with mutual satisfaction? List your own answers; ask for hers. Then look at schedule needs for both of you. If she keeps overriding yours because of the business and her family partners, remind her that in the home and marriage, you're Partner #1.

Hopefully she'll get it.

I'm 23 and very good friends with a girl since we were five. We're now not in the same group and never really go out, we just hang out whenever and talk.

Recently, I've started noticing things that have totally turned me off - everything from her lifestyle, her type of fun, her poor money, and fitness habits, and other small things. She has also been asking me for rides to school, work, and anywhere else she wants, as she doesn't drive or have a car.

It really irritates me, especially when she asks me to drive her boyfriend home a long way. I say I can't, and she gets angry and says I'm selfish.

I want to take a break from her. It'd feel weird not having her in my life, but I think it's best. How do I sternly say "stop asking me for rides constantly" in a non-rude way?

Distancing

There's a reason you're not in the same group - you've grown in different ways. There are no "old friends" rules that say you have to still hang out when you no longer have much in common, and especially when you don't approve of the others' lifestyle.

Now that your only link is her requests for rides, you feel used. But you can pull away without being rude. Just firm and consistent. As in, "I'm not going out now." "I'm going in the opposite direction." "I don't want to drive that far when I'm not otherwise going there, especially with gas so expensive. Tell him to take the bus."

She'll get the message. However, don't be mean. If she's going where you're going, you can occasionally help her out.

I sent a guy (and his girlfriend) a text saying "Happy New Year guys!" He replied, "You too, new love for you." What does this mean? We've never dated but I'm pretty sure he would. By the way, I'm married to his best friend.

Unsure

It sounds like you're both looking for trouble. OR, it was just quick, meaningless greetings on New Year's and now YOU are trying to find a meaning that can justify looking for trouble. Back off. He's taken, and also off-limits as your husband's BF.

My husband and I wanted to be more adventuresome and not let our sex lives get boring. We sometimes met with other couples for sex. We thought it added to our marriage for it to be "open."

But he recently admitted that he's fallen in love with one of those women and they're planning to live together.

I'm heartbroken. Was it the sex, or would we have broken up anyway?

Lost

I have no crystal ball, but I suspect you would've ended up apart anyway. Those relatively few open marriages that are successful usually have ground rules about whether or not the liaisons can be purely for sexual recreation and variety, or can involve romantic ties.

Had you discussed this, it's clear you would've rejected the idea that you or he could accept another love partner and stay married. He wanted more freedom to do whatever he chose. He may repeat that pattern.