I love my boyfriend of five years who’s perfect for me … except that he’s an extreme Mama's boy.

She’s 42 and acts as if my boyfriend is her husband, and her husband is her child.

My boyfriend works, does ALL the cooking, has to pick his step-dad up from work.

His mom and stepdad are always in a financial bind, but they never make adjustments because my boyfriend carries the entire load.

His mom doesn't work (by choice), and the step-dad works at a bowling alley, yet they have a four-bedroom home they can't afford without my boyfriend’s income.

The situation wasn’t as unbearable when I was always at his house. But now that I’ve moved into my own apartment, it's a struggle to get him to come over.

He never has time for me, because he's either working or taking care of his mother's many needs.

I'm 27 and want to settle down and build a life with this man.

I know that his mother can't afford her lifestyle without him, and I don't see him leaving her to fend for herself.

What does that mean for me/our future together? What should I do?

No Time for Me

You already know that it’ll continue as a sad situation for you, left in last position for time and attention.

The future can’t/won’t change, because he’s too responsible a guy to stop helping them.

In order to have a future with him, you’d have to be willing to re-join their set-up – move in with them, help support them, try to have time alone with him whenever possible, raise your own family within that shared space and lifestyle.

Lots of couples do this in one way or another.

But I’m guessing that scenario isn’t part of your dream of “building a life” with him.

Unless he can break away from his all-consuming role, set boundaries on his time with them, insist that his mother take up some of the tasks, you’re the one who has to make a decision, soon.

I’ve been seeing an older man for several months. He’s 66, never married. I’m 56, divorced.

Early on, I said I wanted to sleep with him. We slept together twice after he had a few nightcaps.

I'm still interested in having a physical relationship, but he said he's not interested in having a girlfriend, hasn’t dated in 20 years, and thinks he's too old for me.

I think his nightcaps aren’t helping his sex drive. He said, “things happen when people drink.”

I’m confused and hurt that he slept with me in the first place.

I had a boyfriend who also wasn’t into intimacy so I've been through this hurtful rejection before.

We now go to the movies and for drives. We don't spend time at each other's place, as he doesn't invite me there anymore and he’s allergic to my pet.

At the end of our "date" I have to ask for a hug good night but he doesn't kiss me. Why am I taking this rejection?

Should I just move on? Or, just continue a platonic friendship with him?

Hurt and Confused

For your own sake, for self-esteem, for knowing you’re a healthy normal woman who deserves warmth and affection, as well as intimacy, move on!

He’s a committed bachelor who likely has a drinking issue, too. He’s rejecting love and intimacy, not you.

You want, need, have a right to more. Move on!

FEEDBACK Regarding the suspicious guest who thought his neighbours only wanted to stock their wine collection (October 12):

Reader – “We often throw parties. If we don't specify what to bring, most of our friends ask, as do we, when invited to someone else's home.

“For wine and cheese/whiskey tasting events, everyone brings a bottle or two of their favourites‎ so everyone can try.

“That's the point of the whole thing.

“Maybe someone finds a new favourite. If there are extra wine bottles, they’re usually left. With the more expensive whiskeys, people usually take their bottles home at the end of the night.

“When we invite guests, it can mean days of work and hundreds of dollars in supplies. A $15 bottle of wine left behind doesn't put a dent in what we put out, financially.

“But we’re grateful for it when all the cleaning up is finished the day after.

“The writer lacks a generous spirit.”