I'm 46, and have never been to bed and stayed with a woman overnight. I seek a lady for a long-term relationship. But I'm concerned by my lack of experience.

I have the opportunity to go with an attractive lady on a 24-hour break, but I know there's no prospect of a long-term relationship (firstly, because she's a lot younger than me, and secondly, because she wants a "gift" for the break). What do you advise, please?

Inexperienced

You're rationally mature enough to handle an agreed "exchange" - the "gift" to obtain her company and perhaps some sexual education - but you may not be ready emotionally to deal with disappointment.

It's clear that this woman wants to take advantage of your inexperience for her gain. You need to weigh whether you can take advantage of her offer and walk away without any future connection or one based only on increasing "gifts" for limited contact.

It'd be far better if you could meet someone on an equal footing. You're certainly not too old to broaden your network of contacts in your work, among friends and relatives, and through pursuing personal interests. Be open with people you already know that you wish to meet someone with the hope of a relationship.

I'm a gay male, 27, whose two-year relationship with my first real love, has ended. We were about to move together to Europe to experience another country and lifestyle, when he suddenly dropped me and went alone.

I'm still finding it very hard to get past this, six months later. Our relationship had been extremely intense. I'm a creative person and fairly introspective. He's outgoing with strong opinions, so often decided where we'd go out, what we'd eat (he imposed many food restrictions on me), what movies we'd watch, etc.

How do you get over someone who was such a big influence in your life?

Still Suffering

When you regain your own self-confidence, you'll no longer want someone to control your decisions and choices.

First love is powerful. Fortunately, time does heal, if you let it. But YOU must start actively engaging in moving on with your life. Surround yourself with supportive people, do things you like - including some he negated - and trust your own choices.

My guy best friend and I have been close for several months. Initially, I had a huge crush on him but I got over it. Now people keep telling us that we should date, and it's influencing how I feel about him.

We talk about everything - from boys I like, to sports. I don't know if I like him or if my friends are just getting to my head.

Confused

Your friends' opinions should rate only after you listen carefully to your heart and mind (sometimes it's your gut that sounds the loudest call).

Since you had an initial crush, the stuff of an attraction's still possible. But these are early days in a friendship you don't want to lose. And you haven't mentioned any signals from him that he wants more.

So take it slowly, and build on the easy communication you already have. However, drop the chat about boys you like. That could be holding him back.... besides, even with close buddies, it's wise to hold onto some privacy about romantic and sexual interests, and discretion about how much you reveal.

Since youthful experience often involves some ups and downs in best-friend relationships, you don't want your most personal feelings aired out publicly to bite you.

FEEDBACK Regarding the Grandpa, whose grandchildren's table manners include eating big chunks of food:

Reader #1 - "It may be helpful for him to point out to his loved ones that eating small bits of food and taking your time chewing, can prevent them from choking.

"I know. While eating an appetizer of cured salmon and leafy lettuce in a busy restaurant, my airway became completely blocked. I couldn't breath at all.

"I motioned to my husband that I couldn't breathe and he did the Heimlich maneuver on me with incredible efficiency and competency. It worked!

"So, to all those people out there it's a good reminder to take time to enjoy your food!"

Reader #2 - "My husband eats exactly the same way. He's a wonderful man, very well-educated with a very good paying job, but he eats like a pig!"

Take a video to show him, privately, what it looks like.