My boyfriend woke up in a foul mood yesterday. He got out of bed, didn’t acknowledge me (we usually say good morning, sometimes snuggle and kiss), got ready for his day and left! I felt completely invisible! And I didn’t realize what was happening because I was still in bed when he got up; then went downstairs while he was showering. I called out that I was jumping in the shower while he was getting dressed, but when I emerged, he was gone!

A few hours later, I texted him, but he didn’t respond. We had separate plans that night, but we usually speak several times during the day and check in before we go out with whomever. I was having dinner with my sisters; he was out with some guys. I never heard from him. I was so upset; I slept at my sister’s.

When I returned home this morning, he was in the kitchen like nothing had happened. He asked about my night; I asked about his, but neither of us mentioned the 24-hour blip.

What’s going on and what do I do?

Twilight Zone

Please note that I responded to this person privately immediately, so this didn’t happen “yesterday.”

I told her to give the whole thing another 24 hours to settle – and to see his behaviour. But then this calls for a serious conversation and many questions. Does he recognize that he was rude, disrespectful, dismissive and completely noncommunicative? If he does, then the questions become why – why did he behave that way?

If he doesn’t realize how his actions affected her, then she needs to spell it out for him. Was he on drugs? If so, she needs to decide if this is what she wants for her future. Someone who goes on a bender and disappears for a day or two with no remorse.

Does he have a mental health issue wherein his personality shifts/changes? This is even more serious, because clearly, he’s unaware of his issue. He’ll need professional help, perhaps medication and together they can learn how to live with whatever his diagnosis reveals.

Bottom line: she needs to get to the root of why he behaved the way he did and then decide if she can handle whatever his issues are.

My girlfriend and I just returned from a week’s vacation in the sun. We had the best time, sleeping in, lying on the beach, going out for dinners and drinks. She was so easygoing, loving and happy.

I dropped her off at her apartment and went home to my parents. The next day, I accidentally overslept and ran to work, forgetting my phone at home. No one was home to answer on my behalf. And I was so busy at work that I didn’t get a chance to call from my desk.

When I got home, I immediately texted her and told her what happened. Then I sat down to dinner with my parents and younger siblings, whom I hadn’t seen in over a week. I called her after dinner, but she didn’t answer. I fell into bed, exhausted.

In the morning, I woke up to a crazy voice message of her breaking up with me - and she hasn’t spoken to me since. What did I do wrong?

Post-vacation confusion

From YOUR description, I don’t think you did anything wrong. But she obviously has a different view, perhaps even of the vacation. You two need to speak. Sounds to me like you want to stay together, so go over with flowers. Talk to her. Apologize for your lack of communication the day after you returned home but explain yourself. If she can’t accept it, then she’s not your person.

FEEDBACK Regarding the confused mom (Feb. 10):

Reader #1- “From personal experience, the wrong person is far worse than NO person.  Getting married was one of the BIGGEST mistakes of my life.

“I totally agree with Lisi - I know several people who just never found ‘the one.’

“To this mother: stop all such inquiries and just enjoy your daughter.”

Reader #2 – “The real problem here is the mother's total lack of respect for her daughter's personal boundaries. The mother assumes that her 50-year-old daughter's status as a single woman suggests that the daughter has a problem of a sexual nature.  She states that she has inquired ‘countless times’ about her daughter's sexual preferences.

“The mother's constant questioning is intrusive, disrespectful and cruel. Apparently, she has never heard of feminism. Her expectations belong to a long-gone world. Thankfully in the modern world, single women can lead a full and meaningful life.”