My boyfriend of five years and I are in love and I'm close to his children. We're both independent and spend time together as well as on our own. My problem is that he doesn't want to live together. When we met, he was recently divorced.     
     Now, it worries me that he doesn't plan for our future together. He says it’ll happen and then changes the subject. Sometimes he gets angry that we're discussing it and withdraws or says something hurtful.    
     I suggested that he seek counselling about these feelings. The counsellor said I've made his life easy enough that he doesn't need the "upgrade.” He stopped going.    
     I fear that if we do move in together he may make me pay for it emotionally. So, where do I go from here, especially considering that I'm not even sure what I want anymore?     
     Can relationships like ours succeed without ever living in the same house?
     - Divided

All sorts of relationships can succeed, if it’s what both people want. But you’re conflicted. You want the assurance of his commitment through living together, but you don’t trust the consequences if that ever happens.     
     Don’t give up your own place, or your independence. After five years, you’re entitled to rational discussion on this topic and if you can’t get it, consider taking a break.
     This is NOT an ultimatum; you do not want to push this guy into living together. The break is time for you both to figure out if the relationship is one of comfort or long-term attachment.
     Living together should be a desired closer connection, never just an “upgrade.”

My husband passed away two years ago. I admit I was very lonely and sad until I met a man who showered me with affection and attention.     
     I was head over heels for him then, but now realize I was very needy. I overlooked some of his less appealing habits such as racist remarks and a short fuse over trivial matters.      
     He carries a lot of excess weight that means he doesn't want to do anything active. His whole life revolves around working, eating and sleeping.     
     He’s still affectionate and attentive and would do anything for me if I asked. I don't want to hurt him but I just don't see a future with him. Unfortunately, we’ve already had discussions about our future together.      
     I’m not practiced at breaking off a relationship. I feel stuck.
     - Too Needy

Practice saying truths: “I’m sorry, but this isn’t working for me.” Add, “I care about you, but I’m not in love and our lifestyle interests aren’t a good fit.”     
     Explain that you now realize you were needy when you met him, as many people are soon after a loss. But it would be unfair to him, as well as you, to plan a future when you don’t feel comfortable even in the present.    
     Apologize for hurting him, but insist you didn’t intend to mislead him and appreciate all he’s done for you.    
     Then end it, permanently.

My wife calls me constantly from work; I work from home and she gets hyped up about what’s happening in her office that day.     
     But her interference really bugs me. How can I get her to stop calling?
     - Interrupted

Get Call Display and don’t answer, except for one allotted call at lunchtime. If there’s an emergency, she’s to email. But, if there’s one false alert, you won’t respond to that, either.

My good friend is having plastic surgery on her nose (it’s a bit too long). She doesn’t intend to tell her colleagues, except for the close ones.     
     She’s wondering about when she returns to work how she’ll respond to her peers (who didn’t know about it), in case they notice or find out.     
     What would she say to them?
     - Curious

Once she tells close people, it’s unlikely the others won’t eventually know, so a blatant lie will only make her look foolish.    
     One of the medical reasons some people have “work done” on their nose is a deviated septum, which requires surgery to be corrected.     
     The deviation can be from birth, the result of an accident or other physical trauma. If she mentions that need for correction to all, few would doubt her.     
     She can even joke ahead that it’ll be “an opportunity” to make her nose more attractive, too.