My husband just got a new, tough job, in a start-up company. It's motivating him to be involved and he feels he's contributing more to our finances.

However, I'm not as happy for him as I could be. We used to talk all day, now he can barely send me a "check-in" text for hours.

They give him "homework" which cuts into our time at home.

I've been irritable and frustrated, though I should be excited when I get to see him.

How can I stop needing so much time with him, when I really miss him?

Lonely in Vienna

This transition period will ease when you both get used to the change.

But there will be other transitions and changes in your life together, so it’s good to learn to adjust, now.

And if you’re the next one to experience change, such as having a baby, he’ll have seen that you adapted to his new responsibilities and helped him. Then, you’ll be able to expect the same help from him.

Irritability is the first thing you must control. It’s unfair to him, and counter-productive to enjoying the time you do have together.

Find new ways to spend time on your own contentedly. Get active physically, join a gym or yoga class, get involved in an interest course, and be open to making new friends.

Also, stop expecting more than check-in texts (which are already sweet of him to find time to send). Busy people in new jobs can’t be distracted every hour with neediness from home, unless there’s a serious reason for it.

My daughter, 24, has been in a serious relationship with someone from another country. They met when both were travelling/backpacking.

Although their backgrounds are totally different in ethnicity and language, they get along very well, love and respect each other a lot. Both families have met them together and everyone’s happy with the union. They’ve yet to decide on their career paths.

For more than one year they’ve managed to stay around each other off and on. However, my daughter’s returning to school for a postgraduate course and her boyfriend’s applying for a work visa to Canada. If he gets it, they’d spend maybe another two years together.

If he doesn’t get it, the alternative is to marry so he can apply for spousal immigration.

They both believe that isn’t the right reason to get married, despite it being their eventual goal.

Both families are on board for a wedding in six months but I’m unsure it’s the correct decision as: 1) they’re both not financially stable; 2) they can communicate in English (he speaks French) but he’s not her equal when they do; 3) we’re there to support them and have them live with us until they’re independent, but I’m unsure how that’ll work for them.

Concerned Parent

The horse is already out of the barn. They’ve already accepted that marrying may be their only option. Both sets of parents have already been supportive, so withdrawing now would be hurtful.

Having them live with you and supporting them requires major compromises on both sides, and must be discussed ahead so boundaries and respect are in place.

Wait for an official answer, rather than trying to change their decision.

Meanwhile, ask some leading questions for them to ponder themselves – how does she intend to become self-sufficient after her course? And what’s his plan towards earning a living?

I’m 58. Sixteen months ago my doctor prescribed medication for a variety of issues (high blood pressure, high cholesterol, high blood sugar).

Instead, I joined a gym and watched what I eat.

I lost 60 lbs., got toned, muscle definition resulted; all my blood counts are those of a much younger man (my doctor used the word “miracle”).

There’s much chatting in my various gym classes. Often, some of the younger women (late 20’s, early 30’s) have paid me compliments pertaining to my looks. I accept these comments gladly.

However, since there’s no chance of a relationship developing between one of them and me, considering the age difference, why do they do this?

If I did the reverse, it could be considered an old guy acting creepy.

Your Opinion?

Accept the flattery in the good spirit it’s meant. Gym rats, both male and female, appreciate hard-earned successes in weight loss and body strengthening.

Expecting anything more would be creepy.