I’ve been married for five years and tend to get somewhat paranoid, but I have a lot of resentment too as I get so angry, disturbed, and untrusting that my husband is looking at teen porn. I’m talking about pornography specifically of teenage girls.  

He’s 44, I’m 40.

Is this behavior normal in men? I’m getting so weirded out by it and I just want to lash out at him, because it’s so obscene.

- What’s normal?

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to decide “normality” here. Some people think porn is just fine, but you and I are not among them. 

What’s definitely wrong is your husband persisting in angering you over porn.

Teen porn is also illegal if the participants are indeed underage. It’s an exploitative industry that preys on young people’s desire for money and their terribly misguided sense of fame, at a time when they lack good judgment. It thrives on the lust and/or lack of control by those who get addicted to it to the point of risking their relationships.

Tell him the truth: He’s made you angry, disturbed and untrusting through his watching porn. If he continues, he’s placing this interest ahead of his marriage. In that case, you’ll inevitably decide your own “normal” reaction.

My wife and I have been happily married for 35 years; we both have wonderful families, however her brothers’ families and her elderly Mom have always overstayed their welcome on holidays and summer vacations etc. 

Everyone wants to stay at our rural home, two hours from them, which is fine with us. But invariably her mother will spend five days (that's a minimum annually of 20 days per year).

She’s a stubborn, pushy rude woman and doesn’t respect our home or my wife, and won’t take a hint or even a direct No, for an answer.

It’s common to end up with 10 people for three meals a day for three days.

Although I try to help my wife out with dishes, etc. she takes the brunt of the cleaning, laundry etc. She's frazzled.

How can we resolve this problem without creating hard feelings or alienating our families?

- Overworked

After 35 years of hospitality, you have the right and authority to change the rules. 

Well before the next occasion for a visit, send out a notice that states you’ll be receiving guests for only one night, as the next night you’re closing down the house completely and going to a hotel overnight for your own break from routine. (The money you save on those freeloaders will make the night’s stay affordable).

If you want to start more gently, send out a notice that you two will accept guests but not provide meals, since your age and circumstances now demand that everyone who stays over must bring one full meal to serve all.

Don’t shop for more than basics, so that when they come, someone else will have to go shopping if they ignored the house rule.

However, I suggest one exception: an elderly mother deserves some special consideration. Despite her difficult nature, if she’s going to stay there, it’s unlikely she’ll bring much or leave in a day.

State to the siblings that they all need to pitch in with enough to cover her needs. And be prepared yourself to either take her to the hotel and pay for a separate room for a night or drive her home after a few more days.

I’m 22, and though things are great with my boyfriend of three years, there’s no sexual drive from him. It’s more like a friend vibe. 

He says he loves me. Yet it seems like he’s cheating, though he never really goes anywhere.

I do every thing for him-his laundry, feed him, clean the house.

When I tried talking about our issue, he always says he’s tired or sick.

I love him. What do I do?

- Confused

Stop doing everything for him. It may be that he needs to get back some feeling of independence as a man – even if you have to take a break – in order to remember why he wanted to be with you as more than a kept roomie. 

OR, he IS cheating… himself and you. If he has no passion left for you as a woman, neither of you should be hanging onto the relationship.