I'm in the midst of an ethical dilemma. Several years ago, I was married during a destination wedding that was attended by more than 50 family and friends. However, one of our closest family friends did not attend.

We were very understanding that not everyone was in a position to join us, but they made a point to communicate that they were vehemently against the idea of destination weddings.

Now, a member of this same family is getting married. They've decided to have a destination wedding and have invited our entire family. Do I make a point of bringing this hypocrisy to their attention, or do I just let it slide?

Wavering

If you were the kind who just relished a "Gotcha'!" moment, you wouldn't have written this question, nor recognized this as an "ethical" dilemma.

Your better nature knows the answer: Attend if you can afford it, enjoy the event, and make no comment (okay, maybe a quiet chuckle with the people who originally communicated their negative opinion. Something like, "I guess we all discover that time changes some convictions...." Just don't be unkind about it.)

I'm 22, a single gay male. For several months, a straight male acquaintance, who has a girlfriend and children, has admitted to flirting with me. I've flirted back.

While the flirting's fun, I suspect he's attracted to me. He's made comments about certain males being "hot and sexy." He even pretended to be my boyfriend when I ran into my ex at this guy's workplace.

When asked if he's bisexual, he firmly states that while he's an LGBT ally, he is straight.

I'm attracted to him but I've put aside any feelings for him. Yet I feel he's sending me mixed signals through his flirting. What should I do?

Confused

You've shown more common sense than he has, by wisely putting aside any "feelings" for him.

He's teasing you, perhaps with well-meaning intent, with his oh-so-sympatico friendship. In other words, "I'm not gay but some of my best friends are, I feel your vibe.... etc."

The reality is that if you came on strong to him, he'd probably overreact and run.

His friendship isn't false, but it's got an edge of always being aware of a "difference" between you. If you have friends in minority ethnic groups, some may confide that they too have these kinds of "understanding" friends. I recommend you keep him as an acquaintance and try to get along with him without the "flirting."

My father, 76, has for years bought things he can't afford, using credit cards and lines of credit. I've tried to help my parents but it just makes him spend more, saying he'll pay everything in the future.

My mother calls me everyday to say how worried she is financially. He refuses any counselling and financial planning. He feels that by making the minimum payments, he's safe. I want them to start enjoying life, not worrying about the next bill.

Anxious Son

He's already "enjoying" life his way - buying and having you rescue him when necessary. Talk to a financial advisor yourself, and get legal advice too.

You may need to gently threaten him with finding a legal route to gain power of attorney over his finances, to protect your mother's and his future, too. Or you might be able, legally, to end his ability to use credit cards and get bank credit due to his inability to ever afford what he buys.

I left my children's father six years ago due to abuse, cheating, and his neglect of health issues.

He now abuses me verbally, tells my kids I'm a drunk (to hide his own addictions), and has lost a toe and a leg to diabetes.

I initially took the kids to visitation, but refuse to continue. I provided groceries, money, and transportation. How do I disconnect from him? He calls repeatedly, daily, wanting my pity. I don't know if I should return to court, as he's not abiding by the court order to pay support.

Fed Up

A legal-aid clinic should provide some guidance on whether to go back to court to end visitation. However, be aware that your kids may resent this; he IS their father, no matter how imperfect.

If there's a way to set up the visits but end his access to contacting you in between, that might satisfy everyone's main concerns.