My co-worker has two D.U.I charges (driving under the influence) and can’t get to work. 

I offered to pick him up once, and when we arrived at work, he said “I’ll see you at 5 am tomorrow.” He took it as a long-term plan.

He takes me away from family time, as I get up early to pick him up, and come home late to drop him off.

At work he drives me nuts.

He insults my family constantly and makes me the butt of his jokes.

He complains about the high price of gas he has to pay and drinks beer in my car against my will.

I know I should stand up for myself but he needs a ride.

- Totally Torn

He needs rehab, not indulgence, which is what you’re providing unintentionally. 

He’s ungrateful, rude, inconsiderate, insulting… and still boozing!

Your family needs your time and caring far more than this guy who doesn’t appreciate any of your efforts.

Tell him to deal with his problems; the ride is over.

My son, who’s away at school, has a purebred German shepherd dog. 

My hubby and I also have one dog (older) and two cats. We live in a smallish condo.

My son wants to come home for his field placement next summer because it’d be the easiest and cheapest choice for him. However, he’d be bringing his dog, which I know suffers big-time separation issues: He’s eaten furniture when left alone too long!

Hubby isn’t too crazy about the dog, which barks at him a lot.

I want to see my son graduate, and feel tolerant but not overjoyed about having a wild kingdom in my house.

How can we compromise?

- Mom’s Dilemma

Tell self-concerned son that there are three of you involved in finding a compromise, as each solution has discomforts for at least one family member. 

HE must look into every alternative and weigh them with you…YOU can help by looking into accommodation locally for him and the dog. Example: You and Hubby might prefer to contribute to a rented apartment, rather than risk your furniture and peace of mind.

OR, you may be willing to gate off an area of the condo where the dog stays when your son’s working, and his “owner” can pay for the comfy bed, doggie toys, and a dog walker if needed. The dog is your son’s responsibility, first.

Parental support doesn’t have to mean giving in to all he asks.

I spent my hard-earned money on a vacation that’s turned into a disaster. 

The ads described this package as an “eco-adventure trip,” but the reality is dirty, roach-infested hostels, filthy outhouses overflowing with waste, the cheapest of meals lacking basic nutritional needs, etc.

Two participants have gone home early, with no hope of a rebate.

I feel trapped and don’t know what to do.

- Miserable!

Leave - any safe way possible. 

You must NEVER allow yourself to feel trapped or hopeless in a situation that you can change by leaving.

The money spent isn’t as important as your freedom to look after yourself. Make notes of all that you believe was sub-standard even for so-called “eco-adventures.”

Contact the tour company with a list of your complaints, and a request for re-imbursement.

Be clear that you’ll alert any official travel associations in your area about these hardships, as well as add your comments on travellers’ web sites, such as www.tripadvisor.com.

My ex and I are re-connecting. He had a daughter, age one, by another woman after we broke up. 

He’s an excellent father. But the mother only allows child visits with her around, for two hours weekly.

I tried talking the mother into allowing him more access, and independent access; she says he must prove himself, although he’s doing a lot for them both.

His daughter cries when he leaves.

We can’t focus on getting back together because he’s so stressed.

- How to Help?

Stay on good terms with the mother and show interest in instructions on her child’s care, once you’re directly involved. 

Meanwhile, this isn’t about you. Your guy needs to get a legal agreement with the mother – including defined child support and visits.

There should also be provisions for age-related adjustments as the child grows, such as overnight visits, alternate weekends and holiday times with the father.