I'm a girl, 16, and my mom often brings me to the police station where she works. One of her colleagues has shown interest in me more than once.

When she’s not in the room, he makes sexual comments to me about my clothes and appearance.

He’s in his late-30's and has a wife and kid.

I love the attention he’s been giving me, and feel myself changing how I look to please him. I know he’s old but I feel like we might have a real connection.

Should I try and take it to the next level and tell him how I feel? If it does happen, I don't know what my mom will say, she’s always been protective of me.

Should I take the chance? He’s the first man who's ever shown any interest in me and I don't want it to end.

Confused Teen

I, and the many people who read this, care a lot about your well being. We want you to feel good about yourself, about how you look and feel, and we dearly want you to make choices that will keep you confident and happy.

This man is not a decent person who cares about you, he’s interested in having what he thinks is “fun” for him. You’re flattered, but he’s not really complimenting you, he’s playing you. There are signals you need to recognize so that you’ll be able to tell sincere guys from selfish cheats.

He’s sneaky. He waits for your mom to be out of the room so he can tease you.

He’s already an “emotional cheater” – he’s leading you on without caring that it takes his loyalty and attention away from a wife and child at home.

He’s of low character… the kind of man who, if caught, will blame you for coming on to him. He can see that you’re inexperienced and have been well protected by your very caring mom.

That’s one of the reasons he’s behaving so inappropriately with you. He knows he’s not going to get serious with a young teen who’s nowhere near ready for an equal, adult-to-adult relationship.

The only “next level” would immediately become awkwardness, betrayal, humiliation, and heartache for you.

Now here’s the most important thing I can tell you: Speak to your mom. Tell her he’s made sexual comments to you. If he’s doing this at the police station to a colleague’s daughter, you can bet he’s taking advantage of vulnerable girls and women on the street, people he’s supposed to protect… just as he’s supposed to protect you.

Tell your mom. She’ll understand that it’s not in any way your fault. Tell her you want good attention, not bad.

My cousin’s girlfriend played around on him, even with two of his friends. But he’d hear nothing bad about her and always made excuses for her when she flirted at parties or the bar.

Now she’s dropped him and is dating his co-worker he introduced her to, but he still won’t believe she was just with him to meet and fool around with others.

How can I be a good cousin and friend to him if he won’t believe what the rest of us see?

Frustrated Cousin

It’s not your job to push reality down his throat. He’s the one experiencing her actions. If he chooses to not badmouth her, it’s his generous and self-protective choice.

Good cousins/friends don’t make others feel like fools. Your truth telling is a putdown of him as much as her. Stop it.

My best friend, 20, with whom I share everything, has controlling parents. She can't even go to the movies!

Also, I’m jealous of her. She’s always getting guys’ attention and she doesn't want them, while I’m single, waiting for someone to fall in love with. She was even messing around with a "taken" guy.

Annoyed Friend

Jealousy will eventually destroy not only your friendship, but also your whole personality (making it even harder to find a boyfriend).

Her parents’ controls are her business, though their rigid rules may contribute to her not caring about social rules regarding “taken” guys.

However, by “sharing everything,” you’re constantly hearing all the details of her encounters with men. It’s heating up your jealousy, not bringing you closer.

Cool down a bit and see whether you have other things in common besides your inner competition. This “ best friendship” is not that healthy for you, and lacks real understanding and respect.