My elderly parents want to omit my younger sister from their will. They love her but she has a history of giving money away to abusive boyfriends with addictions.

She has no savings or assets. They’d leave the estate to me, and I’d manage her money to ensure she has a nest egg.

She has an illness that could potentially leave her disabled and/or cause an early death, but for now she’s living recklessly. My parents want to ensure that she has something if she requires full-time care.

I have the financial expertise to assure her care. I asked my parents to explain all to her because I don't want her to think they didn't love her.

But my mother’s revealed that my sister doesn’t believe she’ll live beyond 50, which explains her lifestyle.

If she gets handed a large sum I know her current boyfriend will live the high life with her and disappear when she needs support. Talking to her about this isn’t an option because her current boyfriend has a criminal background and I don't want him to find out, for my parents’ safety.

Worried

Sorry, but you must discuss things with your sister, she’s an adult and has to feel equally respected or she’ll resent both your parents and you.

It means straight talk about her health situation and the possibility of future care needs that are expensive but provide a world of difference in comfort.

You could suggest they leave her some small inheritance directly, and the rest for you to manage (with strict directions in their will and outside overseeing, for your sake as well as hers, in case one of her “friends” accuses you of mishandling funds).

My husband of 25 years and I are long-time musicians. We got a group together last year to play live again, and have fun.

Due to a completely misinterpreted action of mine, one musician spread misinformation and vitriol to several club-owners and friends. He crushed any chance of the group playing together again.

He called me many vile names, even the one that’s generally considered unutterable. Though my husband explained that he’d misinterpreted the situation, the fellow still maligns me.

Women musicians who know the situation believe this man's use of the worst word should’ve roused my husband to confront if not punch the guy.

My husband isn’t a violent man. After considering both sides, he called the other fellow psychotic. But he never addressed the words used against me.

Now I feel like I'm hanging onto something that shouldn't matter, but bothers me. No one in the band told me that they believed me. My husband didn't defend me against the bully. I'm feeling alone, and undefended. I'm sure I should just drop it, but it's affecting how I feel about my husband.

Shocked

So, musicians like to meddle in gossip as much as any other small, intense group. Stop listening to those women who want your husband to use muscle... and risk an assault charge.

True, calling you a filthy name is insulting, but the coarse word is unfortunately in far more common usage than when you all started playing music, and the old childhood response should still hold among rational people: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.”

The more he says the word, the more he sounds an aging lout. And the more possible for your husband to consider slapping a lawsuit for slander against him.

I’ve been in a three-year relationship with someone I loved for 20 years. I helped him raise his daughters yet was being constantly compared to his ex. We fight about money (it’s tight), but he always said he loved me.

For a year, he’s been kicking me out, then always the one to make contact again. I keep going back, though he hasn't been nice to me for ages. I’ve been left homeless and heartbroken. How do I handle it when he calls, and not cave?

My family disowned me for being with him and most of my friends distanced, too.

Heartbroken

Open your eyes - this is who he is NOW, not the man from the past. He offers you nothing but difficulty and torment, there’s nobody there to love anymore.

Save yourself. Change your contact number. Re-connect with family and friends. When you prove you’re through with him, they’ll be more supportive.