I'm 22, with my fiancé for five years. We never fight, my family loves him, and he's perfect. Our relationship is very healthy... except that I secretly have feelings for another guy.
This other man and I have shared feelings since we were 12. Whenever we had an opportunity to hook up, something intervened. We dated others but were open with each other that we secretly wanted to be together. I always thought that I'd end up with him.

Whenever I'm around him, my heart skips a beat. He says he wants to see me more often, even if he has to hide this from his girlfriend. Partly, I don't want to see him again since it deepens my feelings, plus I don't like his lying to his girlfriend.

I ask my fiancé if it's okay to spend time with my "friend" - without revealing my crazy feelings. Even if I love my adorable fiancé, I think about this guy, wondering if it would've worked out. Will I ever get over him?
Would I have the same secret feelings for my fiancé if I went with the other guy? Am I with the right one?

Uncertain in New York

I've seen this movie in several versions, and the Hollywood way is to go for the "other guy," since "perfect" is apparently never The One.

In real life, you have to stop dreaming and think clearly. You're only 22, there's no rush to the alter needed. Your fiancé's been around since you're 17, so both attractions started very young. Now look at their differences.... heavy chemistry vs. parents' favourite? Is one the secure choice, the other more exciting but unpredictable? Only you know these factors, and how much you think they mean to you.

BUT I believe the pull from the other guy may come from a sense deep inside that you shouldn't be making a life choice yet.

Take a break from both, if you have the courage and maturity to carry it off. In time, you'd know better whom you miss most, and/or whether you're even ready to be engaged to either.

Last December, my sister and I became estranged after her husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of my family. I called the police and in turn child services were called. They interviewed the children and threatened to take them away if my sister didn't leave her husband.

My sister was enraged that I called the police and disowned me. My wife's now pregnant and once the child is born we plan on having a baptism. When, if ever, should I try to reach out to my sister? Her husband has threatened to kill her if she ever associates with me again.

Torn

There's a heavy line between sibling connection and risking lives. This man (presumably now her ex, but still involved with her and the children) is too dangerous to ignore.

You can try to reach out to your sister verbally - use someone else's phone, don't leave a phone or email trail. Explain that you'd love to see her at your child's baptism but do NOT want her to risk harm to herself. Even if she's still angry with you, the invitation would be extended, and your caring about her would be evident.

Despite being unable to connect with her, hopefully you've made sure (and still can) that others in the family are looking out for her, in view of this man's violent threat.

We own a second-storey (top floor) apartment. New renters directly beneath us are heavy smokers who smoke on their balcony.

It wafts inside our place. I'm pregnant and have a 13-month-old baby. I'm concerned about second-hand smoke. My baby and I get stuffy noses because of the smoke and have difficulty sleeping. I keep doors and windows shut when they smoke, but it's unpredictable and often. We don't have AC so it's worse in summer.

I'm not suggesting they can't smoke in/on their own property. I don't know how to approach this.

Sniffling in Flagstaff, Arizona

Talk to them, nicely. Say that you understand their rights, and are only asking for accommodation due to your pregnancy and young child. Living on the ground floor, perhaps they could smoke out the front or side, wherever there's less chance of wafting inside.

Dear Readers - How have other readers handled this neighbours' smoke problem?