My boyfriend of 18 months and I are good together.
He finds me interesting. I find that he takes care of me more than any other guy ever has.
He respects and loves me more than I love him, partially because I’m not attracted to him. This isn’t about sex, no complaints there. It’s about his physical appearance and looks.
I often remind myself, “Look how much he cares for me.”
I see other men or good-looking couples, and ask myself, “why can’t I find that?”
Should I let go of this because it’s so shallow? Or would this lead to bigger problems later and I better end it now?
End it, for his sake. He’s a sincere, respectful, loving man who knows how to sexually please a woman.
Once he gets past the break-up, he’ll have little trouble finding a woman who’ll see how attractive a partner he can be.
To paraphrase “stupid is as stupid does,” (from the Forrest Gump movie) consider this: “Shallow is as shallow does.”
If you keep seeing less than what this man is, set him free. It’s unfair to hang on because he takes care of you.
We dated 13 years off and on, both head-over-heels in love.
Two years ago, when I visited him to get back together, he was so happy.
But, because he was having issues with his upcoming business, he soon fought with me over a very minor issue.
I got so mad that when my now-husband proposed, I said yes. (We met on Facebook, and he said he wanted to marry me).
My twin sister was already married with a child which made my parents treat me like I was 40 while I was just 24, a university graduate, and working. I thought that I’ll love my husband with time.
But one month after our one-year wedding anniversary, I reached out to my ex to be friends. We talked of our memories, our childhood love, our first kiss, and discovered we’re still madly in love.
My husband’s a doctor, 38, I’m 26. He wants me to act his age, but I just want to be me, do things people my age do.
He’s always reminding me that he’s the man of the house, wanting me to help financially but won’t help with domestic chores. He makes every communication a quarrel.
I can't handle the quarrels. I cry, heartbroken, most of the time.
One day I had enough and stopped communicating or trying to fix things.
My ex is back in my life. He’s still struggling/hustling working with a company, not resilient enough for marriage.
I really want to be with him.
Note: Both men are still in our home country with me having relocated to America. I already started processing my husband’s papers to emigrate here.
Two Men, Two Countries
You’ve made three commitments – to your marriage, your lover and to help your husband emigrate to America.
Focus on one at a time. Fairness (and perhaps, practical considerations), may depend on your following through with the immigration papers.
Once your husband joins you, is when you can then focus on the future and whether you’ll leave him for your ex-boyfriend.
Will you be able to sponsor him to move to the United States? Or will you consider returning to where he lives?
Most important question: Is your love, based on memories and passion, enough to survive all these changes?
Time, circumstances and your personal willpower will provide the answer for you.
I’ve been in an eight-months relationship with a man who lives with his two adult children at home with his ex-wife due to financial hardship.
I’ve fallen in love with him. However, I’m unsure of what to do next.
He reassures me that he and his ex-wife sleep in separate rooms and they have zero communication as the children are grown.
However, I don’t trust him 100%. Should I end this relationship? P.S I have no children of my own yet.
You don’t trust him, and there’s no indication that his circumstances are going to change soon.
Meanwhile, you hint at a yearning for having your own family. But there’s no practical hope of that happening if you stay involved with him.
Or, you’d be raising kids on your own, with no financial help. A six-month break will help you decide, IF you commit to being open to meeting/dating others.
Tip of the day:
If there’s no physical attraction to your partner, you’re unlikely to stay committed or faithful.