I’m 56, divorced, seeing a younger man (11 years) for several years. He knows my marriage breakdown was due to my ex’es excessive drinking.

I’ve been clear: I don’t mind someone having a drink but do mind if there’s no control.

He doesn’t care, says that he’s not like my ex, and that he’ll continue to drink. He drinks to get drunk.

My friends and family say they don’t understand why I allow this.

I wonder what’s wrong with me... I have zero tolerance for this and should’ve learned to stay away from someone like this.

I feel that when he says he loves me, he’d want to make me happy, and not make me feel it’s me who’s unreasonable.

- Repeat Performance

Stop wondering and get working on changing your pattern, because this guy is NOT going to change his.

You’ve accepted his alcoholism (that’s what drinking till drunk IS) for too long and shown you’ll always cave in to keep him. This is due to your lack of confidence and self-esteem: Though you say you know what you want in a partner, you lack the willingness to go it alone if you don’t get what you want.

I urge you to see a professional therapist who’ll help you understand why you’ve repeatedly ended up with the wrong man. Then, with the counsellor’s guidance, tell this guy he’ll be drinking alone.

I was in a romantic relationship with my business partner and suddenly he says he’s met someone else, but still wants to be my friend. We’d been best pals and business partners for the first five years, then developed into romantic partners.

I always knew that I was more in love, but he was dealing with an ugly divorce and said, eventually, I’d be the only person he’d let get inside.

Just recently, he told his daughter that we’re together. Now he says his heart is elsewhere. I still have to work with him everyday.

It’s been three months and I’m still crying and sleepless. Worse, I still feel that he loves me. He looks awful. Whenever he phones, I get my hoped up!

He’d like to still hang out, as friends, but how hard would that be on me?

I can’t get away completely from him for now, because of the business tie.

- Lost

It’s early days from this shock, so there’s no surprise that you’re still deeply bruised. But imagining that he feels other than he says is a set-up for prolonging your pain. Maybe he does… but until he says so and explains himself, it’s not going to change what’s happened.

Tell him that things between you must be “strictly business” from now on. Deal with company matters as professionally and briskly as possible; communicate mostly by email, fax and voice messaging. If it’s feasible, bring a third party into the room when you need prolonged discussions.

At the very least, at the first word of personal chat during business, put up your hand to stop it. It may sound harsh to treat a friend this way, but then, his sudden announcement of a “new” love, wasn’t so friendly.

He needs to fully understand the consequences of his actions.

Why does my boyfriend avoid even holding hands in public?

- Cold Hands

He’s uncomfortable – with relationships in general, or others’ judgments, or public attention. Watch this. You need to be sure he’s IN the relationship, and not just seeking private comforts.

I’m 17, attracted to a girl in my class. I want to ask her out, but discovered she’s not interested in a relationship.

I’m outgoing, funny, and unafraid of embarrassing myself. Yet, with a girl I like, I choke, unable to express my feelings.

I haven’t spoken to her since the day I saw her; I’m scared that she may not even like me.

She’s all I think about all day.

- Choked

Don’t let your “crush” ruin the chance for making a friend.

She doesn’t want a relationship with anyone so this isn’t about her possibly rejecting you.

Instead of getting nervous about asking her out, just be your funny, outgoing self by starting a conversation about something in common in class… without any hint of a date or getting together.

After a few times of your just making light brief comments, you’ll know if she’s open to friendship.

Let anything further unfold naturally.