Dear Readers - Personal weight is a very sensitive topic, sometimes affecting relationships and intimacy. Here are some leftover comments and questions from my live chat on weight, sex, and relationships (July 20):

Reader - "During my early 20's I was quite thin and dated a lot. In my mid-20's, I started gaining five pounds a year. Now, early-30's, I haven't had a boyfriend in five years.

The guys my friends try to set me up with don't appeal to me as they're overweight and I don't feel I should lower my standards. However, I don't make time to go to the gym, and dieting doesn't appeal. I'd like a boyfriend but I'm picky!"

It seems that "weight" - whether the guys' or your own - colours your approach to relationships. Decide what body weight is comfortable and acceptable to you, at this age and stage in your life. If it requires exercise, go for it in some way, even just walking. Then look at men as you'd wish they'd look at you... for who they are, not what they weigh.

Reader - "I've been divorced for five years and now ready to find true love. I lost 80 lbs., but once the boyfriends I had when I was that slim saw me gain weight again, they left me.

Does being fat mean being doomed to be alone? Yet I'm more adventurous sexually when I'm slimmer than being a fat girl."

Learn and practice healthy eating habits, and moderate fitness, rather than repeat your yo-yo weight pattern. Spiraling up and down 80 pounds is unhealthy, and greatly affects your moods and self-image. Those boyfriends may've moved on partly because of whatever was driving you through those changes.

Reader - "I've had two long-term relationships where "weight" wasn't the deal breaker - quality of health was. When I whined about a health issue, they didn't want to hear it. So I quickly got the health back on track.

Now the weight's coming off and they're fine with the improved health and better looks."

Reader - "If lowered self-esteem, along with extra weight, affects the bedroom, that person must take responsibility for doing something about it, hopefully with the help and support of their partner."

Weight's an emotional issue. For some over-eaters, the emotions driving their consumption are too complicated for them to just stop. Counselling can help, as can getting educated about better nutrition and health improvement.

But you’re right on about “support.” Having a supportive spouse and family/friends’ network can be a huge help.

Reader - "Can you suggest ways to encourage my husband in his weight loss? He is so self-conscious of his body - but it's not an issue for me."

Lead by example - make sure you have a solid, well-balanced breakfast available for you both (you can set this up the night before), keep lots of fresh fruit and vegetables around for snacks and meals, prepare light chicken and fish meals ahead or have the ingredients in the freezer for quick preparation. Also, start some activity you can both enjoy - even just kicking a soccer ball around together at a park.

Reader - "I think that women should try to achieve a balanced, healthy image, which complements their natural build. I don't necessarily think that men are only attracted to skinny, gorgeous women. I think that a lot of attraction comes from self-confidence."

Yes, self-confidence is more important than size!

Reader - "I've always struggled with five to ten extra pounds and now, during this summer, I've gotten busier at work and don't have the energy to work out regularly anymore. I'm always tired and my relationship is suffering because I don't have enough energy for working on it.

How can I gain some of my energy back when I'm overworked during the hot summer?"

The hardest step is starting... then it gets easier each day. Get up earlier, since the mornings before work are some of the nicest times on summer days - and walk for even 20 minutes.

Also, get your partner out with you in the evenings, after a light meal, and explore the parks or stroll the streets in your area, talking. If there are children, bring them along, on bikes or walking with you. It'll increase your energy and also your feeling of connection at the end of the day.