I’ve been dating this woman for four months. We hadn’t spent the night together until we recently went away for a long weekend. We had lots of fun and got along great. Our boozy dinner turned into a romantic evening, and we fell into bed for a great night of intimacy.

I barely remember falling asleep intertwined, satisfied, drunk. But I vividly remember being awoken by the loudest fart I’ve ever heard. She remained asleep and continued to pass loud gas for the next several minutes. I had to open a window and grab an extra blanket.

I didn’t say anything, but that was the biggest buzzkill I’ve ever experienced. I tried to be normal the next day, but I faked stomach issues and begged to go home early. I feel badly about how I left things with her, but I am out. O-U-T out!

What do I say?

Gassed

This is a first for me! Obviously, EVERYONE passes gas. It’s a human bodily function. Hopefully, people are conscious of it and do it in the privacy of a bathroom, or when alone. In North American culture, we try to keep farting on the down low. But farting in your sleep is an unconscious act, therefore she doesn’t even know she did it.

Give her a second chance. It could turn out to be the funniest thing that you talk about later.

I work in an office doing administrative work. I work within a group however most tasks are completed by myself and one other person, who is soon to retire. The past couple of years, I’ve seen my co-worker slow down. I do my best to practice patience and empathy as I have decades left of working until my time comes to retire.

My co-worker forgets a lot. Sometimes it’s important information. It’s constant and getting worse daily. I often accept responsibility but then look incompetent.

Lately it’s gotten even worse. I’m trying to have the most compassion. By Fridays, I’m just fed up. I give up explaining basic things because my patience has run out. When I say that I don’t know how else to better explain, my co-worker gets upset with me. When I have truly done my best. It hurts my heart because things that co-worker had sound understanding of, they simply cannot comprehend these days.  I make sure to do as many tasks as possible on my own giving respect to the decades of service my co-worker has already put in. I want to support the last year of their working career to be as easy as possible.

Recently, my co-worker was locked out of their banking accounts and became much more complicated due to a lack of understanding.  Then their cell phone was locked, then the email account. None of that is work-related but clearly getting older is affecting their life at home as much as at work.

It’s frustrating working with this person every day but I owe a lot of what I’ve learned at work from them. How can I help this situation?  The last thing I want is to disrespect or upset my colleague. They were my favourite person to work with and have taught me the most thus far in my career.  Please advise!

Ageing

If you can live with the situation as is, for just a little bit longer, and cover for your co-worker, when necessary, it might be easier, assuming they’re retiring imminently. If, however, their issues are preventing you from doing your job, and they’re not planning on retiring for months, you may have to speak to your direct supervisor – whom you can hopefully trust – and together decide what to do. If that doesn’t work, you’re going to have to speak with HR. As long as your co-worker isn’t causing any financial or reputational harm to themselves, you or the company, it’s just a matter of patience vs. decline.

FEEDBACK Regarding the snow bored husband (Jan.28):

Reader – “The first thing I ‘see’ when I read this story is how lucky these people are to be able to do these things, from financial and health perspectives.

“Are they ready for when things will change without any warning?  I’ve seen how fast life can change.  One day having fun together, the next day thrust into the caregiver role.  Quoting Joni Mitchell, “You don’t know what you got till it’s gone.”

“Have they considered cruising?  When I was married, my wife and I found this to be ideal.  She liked laying in the sun and I enjoyed walking around.  Also, we did not necessarily enjoy the same events.  We would plan our day at breakfast.  We always knew where each other was and what events we would enjoy together.  We would generally meet up for dinner and the evening shows.”