I emigrated here four years ago and met my boyfriend, who was married twice before.
His son, 27, was fine at family gatherings, yet recently, at a mall, he didn’t respond to my greeting, and ignored me and my kids. Previously, I’d sent him pictures of his new brother and sister on Facebook; he deleted them.
My boyfriend said to ignore it, he’s living in his own world, etc. Is it because I came from a different country?
He works as a DJ and lives with his mom.
How will it be when my kids grow up and discover that their big brother’s ashamed of them?

- Disturbed

The awkward situation between you and his son was created by BOTH of you.
When you sent the photos to Facebook, suddenly everyone in his social network knew his personal family stuff. It doesn’t mean he was ashamed, but it wasn’t what he chose to share.
However, ignoring you and the kids is rude and hurtful; his father should talk to him about respecting you and being kind to the children.
But you also need to understand that adult children of divorced parents have first loyalties to their other parent, not the girlfriend; and they don’t always feel like full siblings to new kids on the scene. Expecting him to embrace the role of “big brother” in such a relatively short time, is unrealistic.
Stop pushing for a “blended” family… and he’ll relax too.

My fiancé and I (six years together) are marrying in five months; I have a child, 9, from a previous marriage.
My fiancé’s mother comes over and spend the night whenever she wants to, without calling. We tried to set boundaries - that our house is open to her but she needs to ask first. She won’t accept this, and it’s become a big fight.
After two years of hurtful words, we’re now not talking to her. She leaves continuous messages on our phones.
She showed up at 10:00 pm uninvited, wanting to fight; we asked her to leave and she kept ringing the doorbell and phoning. My son was sleeping. When we opened the door, she burst in, called me “trash” and wouldn’t leave.
Her husband came at midnight; she then came into our bedroom at 12:15 a.m., saying “your father’s waiting to talk to you.”

- HELP!!

Your fiancé must consider whether he can live without contact with his parents; I say this, because, with the current standoff and hostilities, you two are headed towards a complete break from his family, potentially calling the police if his mother continues to harass you.
HOWEVER, if that’s NOT what he wants, then he needs to take charge and change the dynamic.
He must go himself to his parents’ home, and pay attention to them, particularly to his mother. He needs to phone her – perhaps once a day at the same time, or three times weekly, so she knows when to expect the call – and say that he’s unable to chat at any other times. If she phones, he answers, saying he can’t talk now, and hangs up.
He should also set up a regular visit – sometimes he might even take your son along, so they see the boy as family.
Finally, when things settle, YOU should graciously put this behind you and invite them over to dinner.
While it’s possible this woman is too toxic for any of this to work, it’s certainly worth trying.

I can’t get a break in my attempt to date, and am currently trying the online thing. But, since I’ve never had a date or girlfriend and am initially shy with women, they don’t e-mail or call me back.
One girl told me not to reveal that I’ve never had a girlfriend, but I thought that every woman wants the truth.
What should I do?

- Desperate

Think about things you like to do – any sport, musical interest, volunteer activity, etc. Then get out to where these things happen – a community centre, community college, a “Y,” your church, etc.
Make friends, let them know you’d like to meet girls to date. This is a gentler, more personal path toward dating than going online and relating your personal details to complete strangers.
They’re NOT rejecting you; they’re just removed from seeing and hearing the person that you are.