I separated from my alcoholic husband, and have two daughters, 14 and 18. I’m now married to the love of my life.

But I finally had enough of my difficult mother. She’s always had a bad attitude and throws temper tantrums.

My children barely knew her when young, as she rarely saw them or came to family events.

I never said how she’s hurt me.

At Christmas, she almost sat on my older daughter, for a family photo, so my daughter moved.

She swore the f-word at her, and then acted like nothing happened. I let it go.

The last time she visited, she criticized if I ate a cookie, and she always looks at my bills. Recently, she fired off questions about my life like an interrogation. I told her to listen to how she’s talking to me. She went home.
I sent her a message via Facebook that she says whatever she wants but doesn’t take criticism. And that she should apologize to my daughter.

She responded that she’d stay out of our lives. Recently, I saw her in a grocery store, and said hi. She walked away. I’m hurt.

Did I do anything wrong? After all I've been through…. the father of my children committed suicide.

Lost in Paris

Your criticism was unfortunately wasted, not “wrong.” She’s not likely to change.

But your dynamic with her can become less hurtful, if YOU change your reaction.

This is who she is, perhaps narcissistic, certainly self-centered. She doesn’t “get” your troubles, because it didn’t happen to her.

So change your expectations. You’re not going to suddenly have the mother you wished for. If you still want some connection, you and your daughters need to talk about what you can accept, and what you can’t. Example, invite her only when you all agree to put up with her for a limited period, say two hours.

Ask her about her life, as that’s what she cares about, and she may have some history or family anecdotes the girls will want to hear about. Maybe there’s stuff you don’t know about either, that can shed some light on her behaviour. It’s worth a try.

Since I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, it's been a constant in my life. Then, a girl and I dated for a year. Suddenly, she broke up with me for reasons never explained. She doesn't talk to me, and I've been swinging between severe depression and dangerous manic episodes.

I want to move on, but I don't know how. I love this girl, but she doesn't acknowledge my existence. I don't know how much longer I can take being like this.

Lost in Chicago

I urge you to talk to the doctor who monitors your medication or other treatment, and to your therapist… and if you don’t currently see these professionals, I urge you to connect with both disciplines that can help you.

This disappointment in your emotional life has created a crisis, which you need to address immediately. It’s not about long-term planning to widen your network of contacts, and socializing with people whom you trust – though both strategies are good after you have settled from this strong, and worrisome reaction.

Your need right now is immediate. Get help from experienced experts who understand your condition and know how to help you through this period.

When desperate thoughts arise, get to a hospital emergency right away and/or call a local Distress Line.

How do you know if a guy likes you?

Confused Girl

He shows it in some way… by making contact, acting friendly, AND speaking to you.

But, don’t be misled by others’ gossip that he likes you, if he hasn’t shown this to you.

It can build excitement about something that doesn’t exist. At its worst, this gossip is fueled by someone who knows/thinks you like him, so is playing you for fun. Ignore this, unless HE shows his interest directly.

FEEDBACK Regarding the woman who’s been mistress to an older married man who “treats her” as she’s always wanted (Mar.16):

Reader – “I can't help thinking that if this "man" really knew how to treat a woman, why would he be cheating on his wife?

“Do these mistresses really not consider that the wives are also women (who are NOT being “treated” well!)?

“She should remember this: If he cheats on her, he'll cheat on you.”