I've been married for six years, we have two kids. I love my husband but he has two children from his first marriage, and his ex hasn't moved on. He's hidden things and lied to me.... e.g.: going out with her with the kids. When confronted, he said he didn't want a fight.

Recently, he "had to pick her up from the hospital after surgery," she'd asked him not to tell me. But it was only plastic surgery. It seems the doctor had said not to take a cab... that's crap, as she was driving the next day.

I'm upset that he agreed to hide that he drove her home. His response: She didn't want to hurt you.

Is she that stupid not to know that saying things like this will ruin any couple's relationship? Are my husband's actions not proving to her that he accepts deceiving me?

He says he's not cheating. I've told him not to ruin his present for the past.

He says I'm jealous of her. Would he allow me to do these things with an ex? I suggested counselling. He refuses. I'm feeling I have to leave this mess.

Disappointed and Unhappy

You're building to an emotional climax here, out of a "he says, I say" drama. But what's needed is a cooler assessment by a professional counselor. See one on your own, and then tell your husband that if he wants an objective view, he should come along with you.

It's true that his ex still leans on him, but it's also true that he must have some involvement with her because of their kids.

Distrust is distorting your judgment: e.g. plastic surgery requires some sedative or anesthetic, so a ride home IS necessary that first day.

Things won't be "a mess" if you love each other and agree on reasonable boundaries about his ex. But running away won't prove you right.

I'm concerned about a friend who, like me, is a middle-aged widow who doesn't work, as we live on our late husbands' insurance.

Recently, her interest in astrology has become an obsession. She won't leave the house if the planets aren't in a good position. It's her major topic of conversation. Also, she's become increasingly withdrawn. She'll cancel plans on the day of a get-together. Other friends don't bother inviting her out anymore.

She's been spending a lot of time with her parents, partly because she doesn't want them to be alone if there's a full moon. Everyone has told her she needs to take time for herself, but she just doesn't want to see her friends anymore, and she denies she's stressed or that anything's wrong.
I don't know if I'm over-reacting to the astrology, or just hurt. But if there's some more serious issue, I'm unsure what to do about it.

Worried

It's hard to stay connected to a friend if you totally reject her main interest. Next time you make plans, say you'd like her to give you a brief, basic 101 course about Astrology.

That'll give you the opportunity to talk, and to gently ask what else is happening in her life. You'll soon know if she appears depressed. If yes, let her know you're worried and recommend she see her doctor in case medical factors are affecting her (development of disease, mental health issues, etc.).

If she withdraws, tell her you're available if needed. Also make sure she knows how to call a local distress centre, if it's ever needed.

I gave my husband an ultimatum on his addiction to World of Warcraft video games. I'd previously tried joining in but resented that this game took so much time away from our real lives.

WOW is really an online community and   responsibilities to online friends become important. It's easier to tell if you let your WOW team down, than your wife in your real life.
He cancelled his WOW subscription and it's as if we have a fresh start. I realized it's not about all video games; it's about WOW, which can go on for hours and hours. So, I started playing regular video games with him, some of which end in 20 minutes!

So I see his side now, video games are fun and can be part of spending time together. But I don't want to spend more time that way than I do cooking with him, talking to him, or spending time with our friends.