I’m a teenager who developed my first crush on a boy a year ago. He’s a tall, quiet, guy who refrains from talking a lot. I’m short, expressive, naïve and innocent when it comes to the whole concept of "Love."

I didn't realize that I liked him until last weekend while we were texting each other. However, I’m soon moving. He knows this. So on the last day of school I went up to him and said I liked him... then ran away.

But we talked after school and he said, "Because you’re moving away, I think we should just be good friends." Does this mean he likes me? Or am I just deluding myself?

My friends think he likes me, also his friends and people in the school because I’m the first and only person he’s hugged.

He’s apparently often caught looking at me in class, he hangs out with some of my friends at lunch because I’m there, and he said “BECAUSE” I am moving, we should just be good friends.

Am I being dumb and should just get over it, or is it possible there’s something more...?

First Love

Yes, he does like you. His response was appropriate… dating just before you move is a set-up for frustration on both sides.

What’s important for now is that you learn to stop doubting yourself when the signs point positively. As your first crush/love getting affirmed by him, it should be a boost to your confidence.

However, while it seems fun to discuss every word and glance between you two with your entire social network, practice some discretion.

Stay friends with him, and he’ll appreciate that it’s special enough to not be gossiped about.

A friend was suddenly widowed a year ago, I missed her husband’s funeral because I was away and she didn’t reach me. I felt badly because I knew him first, we’d once worked closely together.

He was an impressive man, with an outgoing personality, very bright. They were together 20 years. He introduced me to his wife after I’d known him for several months, and I liked her immediately, too.

Since he passed, she’s travelled to visit her two children, each living in separate parts of the world. Recently, when back home, she visited me. She said she’d met “a fabulous man” in California, where her daughter lives, and would soon be moving there to join him.

I feel awkward about this. Several times she said how rich this new man is, and I wondered how much that explained her enthusiasm. Her last “fabulous man” is only gone a year, she’s hardly spent time on her own to mourn.

It seems ridiculous that I feel hurt that she’s replacing my old friend so soon. How do I get past it, and stop being suspicious of her attraction to this man, so I can be happy for her and mind my own business?

The Critic

Your own instinct has rightly concluded: MYOB. Your widowed friend’s desire to move on has nothing to do with how she felt about her late husband.

If the man’s wealth is part of her attraction, that’s also her business. She’s experienced enough to know the realities of what living with someone over years actually involves, even if there’s money.

Your unease reflects some feelings of guilt about missing your old friend’s funeral, and perhaps some holdover of shock at the suddenness of his death.

Wish her well, and stay in touch.

Commentary - When my husband cheats, he presents himself at bars as single or separated. Eventually, the other woman notices that her time with him is very limited, and involves sneaking around.

What surprises me is that they don’t give up on him. He told one he’d leave me in December, and she’s still hanging on. I’m surprised that women don’t read all the warnings about the tricks pulled by married men who cheat.

The Wife

It’s surprising – and sad - how you present your husband’s ongoing duplicity as a fact of your marriage. You must have reasons for “hanging in,” too. Yet you repeatedly risk contracting Sexually Transmitted Diseases (don’t believe that he always uses a condom; he’s on the prowl too often). And you accept far less than you deserve.

I strongly suggest you see a therapist to probe why you accept this, and a lawyer to prepare yourself for demanding better.