I’m 45, married for 18 years, my wife is 40 – we have three kids, love each other and have also been best friends.
Recently, on vacation my wife confessed to “messing up” with an old friend. She felt upset and guilty but I assured her that I forgave her completely.
Unfortunately, I’ve become obsessed with knowing all of the details of exactly what happened. She told me she only had oral sex, and I believe her, but I think I have a right to know why and what happened.
My obsession is becoming a thorn in our marriage. She says it doesn’t matter why or what but I don’t feel I can get closure without knowing details.
We still love each other and we’ve agreed to abide by your advice.

- Divided

I appreciate your confidence, but the main message I have is this: Abide by each other.
You need to hear each other’s pain and respond to it, if you’re going to get past this.
SHE is wrong, you do need to know why this happened…e.g. was it a flirtation because she wanted more attention, had she been unhappy with some aspect of your relationship, or was this a mid-life moment of re-asserting her life force and attractiveness?
YOU are also wrong in thinking you should know every messy detail. That would only feed your obsession and divert you from truly resolving this.
It’s the emotional content you need to share, so that you both understand what’s needed to refresh and revive your marriage.

I’ve been married a year but struggling with paying the bills since my husband only gives me $700 a month towards them.
I pay everything - gas, electric, phone, water, waste, taxes, his car insurance, supplement hospitalization insurance, his many medicines, his clothes and shoes.
I also buy all the gifts and cards, groceries and restaurant meals.
I pay veterinarian bills and medicine for his dog plus license and rabies tag.
He saves the rest of his money.
We’re both on Social Security and that doesn’t leave anything extra to get my hair done or buy some makeup.
He spends more time with his dog then me.
I’m falling out of love with him.

- Feeling Unloved And Broke

Get a job. Unless there’s a strong reason preventing you from working (which you don’t mention), you seem to have great accounting skills and responsibility to be an asset to many employers. Even home-based part-time work would provide more of your own money.
Otherwise, tell your husband that either you work out a budget together within your joint means, and you both keep some personal cash, or the dog expenses are his.
But, I expect you’ll eventually leave him to the dog.

I have a major crush on a co-worker. We like a lot of the same things, however I sometimes feel he’s attracted to everyone else but me.
I’m 30 and don’t want to remain single for the rest of my life yet I’ve never been on a date.
I don’t know if I should risk making things awkward in the office for us both.

- Never Dated

If he wanted to ask you out, he would. So don’t push, just be friendly. He may already be involved, or not want to date a co-worker.
A “crush” isn’t the only road to ending single-hood. Start getting out to group activities where you’ll meet new people and tell trusted friends you’d like to be set up on dates.

I divorced my husband 15 years ago because of abuse; my sons are now 22 and 19.
My ex was bitter, angry, and spiteful and tried to use the boys to get back at me.
My oldest son has become abusive to me, and now his girlfriend. He lives at home and has a good job. He sees his father regularly but acts differently around him.
I’ve told my son to get help but he refuses to acknowledge the problem.

- Sad

Lead by example. Do NOT accept your son’s abuse, and insist he moves out if it continues.
Tell his girlfriend what you’re doing and say it’s because you refused to live with his father who acted this way, that you took control of your life long ago.
Encourage her to speak up for herself and above all, to make sure she feels safe with your son or leaves him.