I keep running into guys who want me to chase them. Are they interested in me or am I reading their signals wrong?

Unsure

Whatever their signals are, you need your own higher standards. If you're the one who's constantly phoning, texting, emailing and sending Facebook posts, you're sending the WRONG message: 1) that you're willing to chase, and 2) that men don't have to do anything, since you'll pick up their slack.

Set your own requirements: A potential date needs to make as much reasonable (not hounding) contact as you do, to talk or get together. And he needs to return your contacts within a reasonable time.

Until you know that a guy you like returns the same level of feeling, back off any moves to "chase." They just make you look needy.

I'm a gay male in my mid- 40's and hoping to still find a partner who will be my soul mate. But I won't go looking online. I need to see whether the person talking to me is looking me in the eye, and whether he has humour when I try to be funny or is dead serious and therefore won't "get" me.

There are gay bars, but I've done all that... great for hook-ups but not always a place where you can tell who's sincere. Any suggestions for me to keep looking?

Personal Contact

Tell all your trusted family, friends, colleagues, etc. that the New Year has you open to meeting someone new with the hope of a long-term relationship. Tell them you're ready to meet decent people with similar intent, and they should feel free to talk it up if they meet someone they think could be at least a new friend for you, if not a match.

And yes, making new friends is also part of the process. That nice female colleague who's married is worth getting to know, because she just might have a gay cousin she suggests you meet.

Get out, go to activities you enjoy, and show a positive attitude with a smile on your face.

Our "freeloading" grandson lived with us for several years when younger, then moved into an apartment with two friends. One left the other two holding the "rent" bag and they couldn't manage. Our grandson moved back in August 2010 and is still with us, at 26.

He arrived while deeply in debt to a friend, but has paid him little and us nothing. He spends as fast as he earns. He holds down two jobs, but constantly runs out of money before his next pay cheque, and borrows money from us.

He loves to buy clothes, video games, movies, gym membership, etc., and is constantly justifying his spending.

He has his own room - free - eats when he pleases. We're seniors living on pensions. He's a good man, has lots of friends, doesn't get into trouble, so we don't want to kick him out, but we need to see some kind of improvement.

Desperate

Stop the loans. Instead of kicking him out, set a deadline several months ahead. Show him your own costs vs. your pension, and state simply that you can't afford to keep him, especially as he contributes nothing, yet buys things he could live without for awhile.

He needs financial advice from a bank advisor or a credit counselor. If he won't take it, he'll have to learn the hard way. You do him no favour by bailing him out from his own responsibilities.

My two sons, early 20's, look very different from each other. Some friends and relatives have overly complimented one son, gushing over how good-looking he is, while ignoring my other son.

One relative even said what a perfect nose one has, while my other son doesn't have a straight nose. Although said to me privately, it hurts me very much because I believe it's wrong to single out one child repeatedly and ignore the other. How should I respond?

Loving MOM

Your sons are adults who've already learned to handle their physical differences on their own, one way or another. What's most important is your support as a loving mom. Don't show too much concern about their looks... at this age, it's what they're trying to accomplish in their lives that counts.

Respond to comments with disinterest, saying they're both terrific sons and doing interesting things. Then change the topic.