I'm male, 55, single again, after a 15-year common-law relationship. I'm happy with my new situation but would like to start dating. However, there are few single women close to my age around, but many who are younger. 

I've been told the "half-your-age-plus-7" rule but that would put my lower limit at someone 20 years younger. I doubt there are many 30-somethings that would date me, but I really don't know. 

I have many young female friends and acquaintances and enjoy their company but I don't want to destroy a good thing or get laughed out of the room. 

- New Territory

Ignore any arbitrary dating formulas, they don't deal with the huge variations in individuals, nor the magic of attraction plus chemistry. 

Newly single people of any age need to proceed slowly, so No, plunging into test "dates" with old friends could be very uncomfortable for everyone involved. Just put out the word that you're interested in dating again; tell your friends that you're open for set-ups, and opportunities to meet new people through social gatherings, your own interests, etc. Your friends, young and not so young, know your age, so when they pass on the word, this information will likely be included. 

By the way, there are plenty of women your age around – and plenty of them are attractive, smart, fun, fir. They're at community events, lectures, and gyms, everywhere there are people gathered for interests and sociability… and they're as interested in dating as you are. Open your eyes and your mind to them, too.

My boyfriend of three years and I had an amazing first 18 months together; a year ago he began to need his freedom back, understandably. 

He’s changed. He’s not ready to move in together, stating that it’s like marriage...

I’m not ready for marriage but would like to live with him as we’ve been together so long! 

He’s developed a sarcastic attitude and makes jokes about our relationship that hurt my feelings, although he says, “just kidding, I love you.” 

He gets anxious if he doesn’t have enough space or when I want to talk about issues in our relationship.  I’m fairly needy which I’m trying to work on; I get anxious about things easily. 

Is all this him being immature or are we headed for trouble?  We’re both 28, and in the film industry, which means our careers are unstable as well!

- Shaky Times

Nothing is ever only about the other guy’s problem. You’re pushing for something he doesn’t want yet. The more you do this, the more anxious you make him… and yourself. Back off. Then make a deal – no more pressure from you, for at least six months (your industry is high-pressured enough), and no more “jokes” that bite from him. 

If you can both carry this out, you should be able to re-assess where the relationship is going when the time is up. 

If he’s unwilling then, don’t get anxious, just get going on your own.

I have a deteriorating condition; my husband of 45 years has become a wonderful caregiver who is devoted to helping me still enjoy life. 

However, an old female friend of mine told him: “Why work so hard at it? She’s going to end up in a home soon, anyway.” 

I’m devastated. Should I tell her I know what she said, or stay quiet?

- Agitated

Drop her. Contact with her will stress you, interfering with your well being. 

Enjoy your husband and your time together.

My boyfriend, who’s working in Europe, was invited by a girl to travel to another city. He’d already booked a ticket, and was asking my approval. 

I was disappointed that he couldn’t say that since he has a girlfriend, it’d be awkward to travel with her alone for three days, but he could go if more people came along. 

Yet I also considered his position - new in the country, wants to travel, doesn’t know many people. So maybe it’s good for him to go? 

- Both Sides

Good for you, for seeing his side. Yes, he should’ve said 1) he has a girlfriend so doesn’t want to give misleading impressions to her or others; 2) he’d prefer to travel in a group. 

Tell him your understanding of his situation; say that, since other invitations will come up, it’s best if you two have an agreement on what’s comfortable for you both.