My girlfriend, who's 25 years younger than me, won't tolerate my entering a strip club, even though she's been in many with previous boyfriends.

I can respect her dislike of them but, I argue, if you don't like them, don't go. I normally go once every two or three years with golf buddies for a few beers.

She always threatens to end the relationship if I go. I have yet to do so since being with her, but I will, I suspect, sometime during this golf season. I think she's being unreasonable and comparing me to her other boyfriends, which I resent. Should I just go and not tell (thereby cheating) or tell and work on the problem?

Seeking Strip-club Solution

You may not like acknowledging this, but there IS a generation gap between you. She's seen what goes on in some strip clubs, and doesn't want that scene for you.

Perhaps it seemed more unseemly for mature men, or maybe she holds you in higher esteem than her previous boyfriends (that would be nice to hear). You need to find out what turned her off the places that she'd been to previously.

It's all about respecting her feelings, since they're so strong, and your interest in strip clubs is only mild and occasional. Once you get to the core of what she's against, you'll be able to discuss it more openly and get her to use communication instead of control.

But if you go without telling her, or go and expect to discuss it later, I suspect you'll not get the chance before she slams the door.

I try to teach both of my children my own language. The girl, ten, picked up the language okay, she's not fluent, but can communicate.

The boy, five, is very hard to teach, even though I'm trying very hard. I'm the only one in our family who speaks my language. This summer we're going to visit our parents overseas and I already dread when my mother will start criticizing me for not putting enough effort into teaching him.

She doesn't understand that it's not that simple to teach a little child to speak a foreign language. Especially since I'm a full-time working mother and both kids go to an English-speaking school.

I'm already losing sleep over my mother's criticism and I know it'll cost us a couple of fights. I don't want to argue with my parents, especially when we're going only for a short time. How can I get her to not criticize me, but help me to teach a little boy our language?

Already Agitated

You surely don't want to repeat what was apparently your mother's pattern... so lay off the pressure on your son. He's very young, and it's a common response of a younger child to hold back from what his older sibling has already achieved, especially when there's pressure.

He may be absorbing far more than he shows. So keep it light, e.g. sing in your language with him, make a game out of learning some numbers or the alphabet, but don't stress about it.

When with your mother, show some self-confidence (it's clearly time). Insist that he's doing fine, catching on, enjoying an introduction to the language. Be sure he hears you express your confidence in him, too.

Let her pick up the teaching while you're there, such as greetings, street names, etc.... but interfere if she comes down too hard on him.

My sister, 73, is very healthy and mentally fit. However, lately she decided to be called by another maiden name. And, instead of her real first name, she wants to be addressed by another. What is your say on this strange behaviour?

Concerned Sibling

I say, ask your sister why the change. If she's mentally well and fit, she undoubtedly has a good reason. If she won't tell you it, she should also have a good reason for why not, which you should accept.

Example: It could be related to a special memory from the past, or a desire she's harboured all these years and finally feels free to express.

However, if you still feel it's out of character, as an inexplicable change in her behaviour, urge her to see her doctor for a medical check-up, and accompany her. She may be experiencing health changes of which you're not aware.