I'm dating a girl with whom I've had romantic connections in the past. We dated briefly 5 years ago before she decided to return to her ex.

Since we're fairly young, she enjoys going out clubbing, scantily clad. While I don't have an issue with her going out, I have trust issues with her friends, many of whom I've seen touching her, and some of whom have gotten intimate with her in the past.

She says she loves me, to trust her; she wants to move on from the past and hopes for a serious future together. Do I have misgivings for the right reasons?

Confused

It's not the clothes; it's the person wearing them. It's not the friends; it's your girlfriend who lets them touch her and who still hangs out with former "intimates." Being "young" isn't an excuse if she truly wants a serious future together.

There's been enough history that she needs to modify her ways, for you to be trusting. Try going clubbing together for a while. And help her understand that while going "scantily clad" may be her right, it still sends a message to many guys, especially when she's out on her own.

I've made friends with my retail store manager. But on a recently busy Saturday, I realized it was time to close, while there was still a long line in the store. I figured I'd just push through it.

Fifteen minutes later the line was longer, and I'm supposed to have all the till money counted and put away ten minutes later. It wasn't fair to my panicking co-worker to be working as frantically as she was, so I chose to address the customers politely and close the store.

People started freaking out and making threatening gestures even as I was crying, though they weren't serious enough for me to call security. I understand their frustration, but I don't get paid overtime. I'm a student with a morning class, and the buses only come once an hour. I don't feel in the wrong.

My manager was overwhelmed with customer complaints the next day. She's obviously peeved at me. She's made comments about my lack of ambition and drive, and when I showed her the laws on workers' hours, she just rolled her eyes.

She isn't a student and she has a car. I feel she wouldn't be acting as harshly if we weren't friends. I feel sick that she didn't defend my actions to the complainers. Now everybody seems to hate me. How do I convince her that I did the appropriate thing?

Misunderstood

Your actions may have been perfectly in order according to labour laws, but that doesn't mean this was the only way to handle the situation.

Since you are friendly with your manager, you had easy access to ask for her direction. You could've held up the customer line by explaining it was closing time but you'd see what you could do, then called for the manager or gone to get her.

If she'd said to carry on for a half-hour, you then would've said you'd miss your bus. She might have driven you, or offered to stay at the till herself for the last ten minutes.

The way to handle work and personal relationship blips is NOT through self-righteousness. Explain to the manager that inexperience played a part and you were unsure what to do. Ask what she would've done, and how to handle this in the future.

My parents split up after 27 years. My father and I moved to where my sister lives so she and her family could join us temporarily and save for a home. They'd help with the bills and her carpenter husband would fix up the house.

Two months later, no money and no fixes. My father and I are constantly cleaning up after their messes. My brother-in-law has no consistent job. I'm a full-time student. My father doesn't want to create problems, so says nothing. His depression's getting worse.

Upset

Dad has to set a deadline: Wherever your sister was living before, is where her family must return, if there's no money and help within six months.

Otherwise, since the "problem" isn't Dad's creation, he should re-consider the house and rent a place for you and he, alone. A positive change might lift his mood.

Meanwhile, insist he see a doctor.