I'm 36, female, never married, no kids. I met a man via a dating site and we hit it off. He's a few years younger, in the process of getting a divorce, has two young kids, a job that takes him away for weeks, plus he lives more than an hour away.
After six weeks of dating he was called away for work on short notice and wasn't able to let me know. After days of not hearing from him I sent him a few texts that he took offense to. I had an ex who'd just disappear... the reason for my trust issues.
However, we decided to keep seeing each other. But since his return, things are different. Before, we'd talk or text every day, but after, I've heard from him less.
Because of different work schedules, I expect that my weekends off will be our time together. But when my weekend off arrived and he didn't mention getting together, I was upset. I sent him text messages explaining how I felt and haven't heard anything back in two weeks.
I've been upfront and honest from the beginning, saying what I'm looking for at this point in my life and he said he wanted the same.
I believe there's no such thing as being too busy to send a quick text if you're really into someone.
Hurt and Disappointed
It's one thing to say you're "wanting" a relationship, but it's pushy to expect it within six weeks.
The "process" of divorcing and the need to stay connected to his young kids means he's got other commitments besides a very early interest in you.
However, your messages showed a lack of recognition of his needs. Sure, he could've taken a moment to text you back, but I suspect he'd already decided you were more demanding than he can handle at this time.
My mother-in-law hates me and talks BAD behind me to others. She said I'm a bad person, not respectful, and made her son change. Before my wedding, she said I'm not right for her son.
During my pregnancy, she had a baby shower for me. BUT, though she knows I'm severely allergic to nuts, she put nuts on the table and in some food!
She's either mad at me, or my husband, and she doesn't visit our daughter (seven months), her first grandchild.
I'm fighting with my husband about this and why he never stands up for me. And I'm hiding from her because I'm tired of her attitude. But I really want her to respect me and have a healthy life together.
My husband said we should talk to her, but I'm not sure how without our insulting each other.
Start by accepting your husband's offer of talking to her together. You both need to tell his mom that you want her in the child's life and yours. But it will NOT be possible this way.
HE must reassure her that he still loves her. YOU must say that you want to respect her, but can't accept the badmouthing.
Then, try to find some positive things you can gain from her... even asking how to cook something her son likes, and inviting her to go walking with the baby with you, etc.
However, if she remains negative and continues to speak ill of you, your husband and you need to show her it's not acceptable, by both taking a break from contact with her.
I'm so overwhelmed by my family's needs that I sometimes don't know if I can carry on. My grandfather died a year ago, leaving my grandmother getting frailer at 83. Now my mother has cancer. My daughter, four, has developmental problems, and I have a baby, 18 months.
I feel like I don't know where to be next, or who needs me the most. I'm always letting someone down.
Gather any and all resources - e.g. use whatever help you can find, including your husband, find out if caregivers are available through community and hospital programs, tap helpful relatives and neighbours, plus hire whatever aid personnel you can afford.
Use any moments you can for yourself wisely and efficiently - whether it's exercise, a walk with a friend, a counselling session... whatever gives you relief and renewed will.
You CAN handle this, but you don't have to do it all alone.
Tip of the day:
When you push relationship commitments too quickly, you risk scaring the other person away.