I’m 37, female, and had an affair with my daughter’s tutor. Yet I’m happily married with wonderful children. My husband knows about the affair and forgave me.     
      Another man came into my life four years ago - we talked online and had cyber sex. He always enjoyed it. He came to meet me once and we crossed the line.     
      He stopped calling. I had said it was over, but he said he wanted to stay friends and meet sometimes, but he never contacted me.      
      I reached out many times, through email, phone and text-messages, but got no reply. I got mad and called his relative, telling how I was left after being used. I also emailed his sister and friend about what type of guy he is.
      I’m sorry for what I’ve done, but he had no right to treat me like this. I still miss him, but I want to forget him and move on with my husband who loves me so much.    
      How can I go back to my life and forget the past? I was so happy before I met him.
      - Tormented

Whatever propelled you to take these risks with your marriage and family life, should push you right now into a therapist’s office.    
      You need to examine why this rejection has you so outraged and lost, when the fact is you presented yourself to both these men as a cheating wife.    
      It’s a silent message that you’re someone looking to “use” a man for sex (and therefore be “used,” too) since you wanted to stay married.    
      There’s a strong disconnect in your thinking about what went wrong here. I suspect it comes from some loss/rejection in your past.    
      Get individual counselling help to understand what drove you to have these affairs, so you can get past obsessing about this one that (wisely) got away.

I’m mid-40s, male, partnered for four years; my mother, 83, has lived six years in the basement apartment that I created for her. But the suburban house is too costly and big for our needs.     
      Mom’s in excellent shape but needs me to drive her around, do her accounting, clean, etc. She doesn't want to hang around with "old" people or anyone else.     
      I want to downsize closer to the city; she refuses to pay the cost of a seniors’ residence although she can afford it. My siblings cannot contribute.
      She threatened she’d die from the move. She’s extremely negative, opinionated, stubborn and politically incorrect. My same-sex partner’s at his wits end with her.
      She raised us lovingly and always giving. If a move kills her, I can’t live with the guilt. Yet everything’s become demanding: Mom, my partner, my career, my finances.
      - About To Crack

A true partner needs to help you find a solution, not demand one, so tell him to ease up the pressure.     
      Consult with a seniors’ counsellor service in your community. But there are compromise solutions, such as moving both yourselves and your mother into two separate apartments in the same building; or into the basement unit of a townhouse you purchase; or into a seniors’ residence close by your too-small-for-her next home.     
      Have the counsellor also visit mom and help her see the benefits of change; she’s likely digging in her heels as she feels the tension in the house.     
      She’ll like the attention of someone who talks to her objectively and it’ll ease the mother-son power struggle.

A friend’s asking our group to donate money to a graduation gift for someone, because she and the friend's parents can't afford to send her on a trip.       
      I feel a grad gift is something a family does, not the friends. Plus, if they can't afford it, can't they find another gift? I don't know if I can speak up about this because it might be seen as mean.
      - Uncomfortable

It’s not “mean” to raise concerns about something that doesn’t make sense to you. Learning to speak up – albeit diplomatically – is an important part of taking care of yourself.    
      Say that you feel that friends aren’t responsible for graduation gifts other than a token, and only if this is being done for everyone in the group.
       If it’s her best friend, she’s welcome to go ahead on her own. If the parents have asked for help, they’re imposing inappropriately.