I recently cheated on my boyfriend of five years, with a guy I knew for ten days. I felt strange about it, because I was very interested in this new guy who pursued me.

He left for back home, about 1,000 miles away. He says he's coming back for work in a few weeks and wants to see me.

I'm almost positive this guy used me as a booty call. I never want to go back to that dark sleazy place again.

But I do want to see him face to face. I want to be friends with him, but I don't want things to get spoiled by having sex with him every time. How should I handle this?

Booty In Maine

Are you trying to fool me, or just yourself? Or, play two sides by fooling your boyfriend, too?

You’ve expressed no remorse/regrets about cheating on him; just upset at thinking you were used. You’re also fudging your desire to see Booty Man again as seeking “friendship.”

Get honest with yourself. You know he’ll just want another quick hit, and you’re risking a long relationship to go that route again.

The sleaze shows on both sides, unless you: 1) use this as a sign that you don’t want to be with your boyfriend any longer and break off cleanly; or 2) then accept being a booty call, as a single woman who clearly is still attracted to this guy.

I've only known my boyfriend for two months and we started dating almost a month ago.

He has all the qualities that I appreciate in a partner, however I'm slightly put off by his extreme religious views. I explained to him previously (before we dated) that I’m spiritual rather than religious.
He’s grown up in a strict religious household and has decided to return to his faith. Although I have no problems with his religious views, I feel as if I’m getting pressured to convert to his faith.
He’s decided to implement "rules" of being his girlfriend, which includes some unrealistic expectations of me.

Although we talk about this all the time, and he continuously tells me there’s no pressure, I feel it’s becoming too overwhelming.

I also realize that we got into a relationship quickly before truly getting to know one another.
He's an amazing person, but I'm afraid that his extreme religious views would affect our relationship.

I’m starting to doubt the longevity of our being together, and wonder if I should just end things before it gets too serious.

Steamrollered

Reality check: You ARE being pressured to convert. This will continue until you agree to do so.

The “rules” will get stricter, because you’re dealing with extremist views.

(Note: I do not know which faith he follows, but “extremism” in any faith calls for strict adherence, and often involves constant checks and monitoring of the outsider’s compliance, to assure that you’re not straying.)

Unless you had voluntarily decided to embrace his faith, it IS overwhelming and will consume much of the relationship.

End this quickly. The longer you leave it, the more hurt and offended he’ll be, because he’ll feel you’re rejecting his faith, not just him.

Be diplomatic but firm. Say that you didn’t know each other long, or well, and you realize he needs a true partner in his faith, which you can never be.

If he persists, cut off contact. This was a rush relationship and you need to cool its intensity.

My common-law partner of five years and I are both 50. He owns the house, pays the mortgage, and bills. I pay for groceries for us and his teenage daughter, and the heating bill (about half what he pays).

I feel that’s a fair share since only his name is on the property.

He feels I should pay more per month (though my income’s significantly lower) and that it's a privilege to live here. But he’d be paying all his bills if I weren’t here.

What’s Fair?

If common-law rules in your jurisdiction allow you a share of the house or support if you split, that’s a financial factor to consider. Talk to a financial advisor once you know the legal facts.

But FIRST, look closer at the relationship. His money grab appears petty, since he earns much more. More worrisome is his “privilege” comment… you’re either both lucky to be together, or not.