My parents were married and business partners for 50 years. When my father became ill, he was in hospital for almost two years before he passed away. My mother's health plummeted; her heart literally was broken.

Then she got a letter from her first and only other boyfriend back in Germany - not heard from in 55 years. My uncle had put my dad's death notice in the town newspaper where they grew up, and her old flame read about it.

He wrote that his wife had passed away two years before. My mother wrote back and soon they were phoning. She went to visit him in Europe and they’ve been together ever since, dividing their time between North America and Europe.
I don’t doubt their affection and need for each other. But I’m concerned because he was very wealthy and let his son inherit his house and business after his wife passed away. They were known as the wealthiest and cheapest family in the town.
Mom pays for everything. I’ve never seen him pay for a cup of coffee or dinner. She pays $60,000 a year in airline tickets - he never offers and she’s afraid of upsetting him.

He keeps loaning money to his son who’s already wealthy, and also recently inherited close to a million dollars tucked away in a Swiss bank account.

I feel he and his family are taking advantage of Mom - his son even recently asked her for a mortgage which she was going to pay, until I had lawyers advise her that it’s unwise to lend money overseas. (This, after the guy just inherited. He just didn't want to bring the money out and pay taxes on it.)

My mother’s running out of money. She has property.
She’s also paying for his airfare, clothes, food, and alcohol. She waited hand and foot on my father and now has a beau letting her pay for their lifestyle. His son pays nothing for his father's upkeep.

I say, tell him to share the costs of travel and daily living. He’s said that when she has no more money, he’ll take care of her.

My siblings and I won’t inherit anything (yes, that’s part of my concern) but he may pass away first and if she needs long-term care, she won't have the resources.

Can I say something to him myself?

He doesn't even carry a wallet. She deserves to be loved without having to pay for it. Your thoughts?

A Concerned Daughter

Talk to a financial advisor first and get the details about how long your mother’s money will last, given her double expenses. Then bring your mother along to hear it all.

Also, have the financial person list the potential needs for money over the next years as she ages, may need housekeeping and personal care, etc.

Note, if the man’s controlling of her time, you must find a way to get this information to her, and it’s best coming from a third party professional. You may have to “fudge” where you’re taking your mother that day.

But there’s no holding back once she knows. That’s when you (and your siblings, if possible) need to confront her companion and say his relying on her money is unfair and unloving, since it leaves her vulnerable in the future.

You may even need to consult a lawyer on this matter. But be forewarned… your mother’s used to “serving” her man. She may foolishly do nothing about her precarious financial position.

My best friend has two big dogs with fleas, which drool and shed on everything. She doesn't clean enough, so her car, house, and clothes always look and smell disgusting.

I've hinted that she should clean up, that they smell bad, and even lied about allergies to avoid going there or riding in her car.

She shrugs it off, blames it all on the dogs, saying it doesn't really bother her.

We’ve been friends forever and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I feel like saying, "I don't want to hang out with you anymore because you smell bad and have fleas! " How can I say this to someone I love?

Smelly Friend

She loves her dogs, period. You can send her research on flea treatment, but that won’t stop drooling and dog smells. Either ask her (nicely) to clean herself up, or explain that your discomfort means only phone/email contact.