I've been with my boyfriend for six years. We talk about getting married and having a family fairly often, but he hasn't taken the next step and proposed yet.

Each time I bring it up, he shuts down and doesn't want to discuss it further. We have a healthy relationship, and talk about everything in our lives, and what we want for ourselves in the future.

We connect with each other's families really well, and everything else is great. Am I missing something - how long is it before it's too long to wait?

Getting Impatient

The real question is, how long are YOU willing to wait? There is no one-number-fits-all. There's age, and expectations, and want/need.

Example, for a woman who's 29, feels living together is never enough, wants to have all her children by her early-30s at the latest, the deadline's approaching.

But you haven't stated your age and expectations, only your wanting to be asked. Think this through and tell him clearly what matters to you. Remember, too, that money may be a factor, if he thinks you're expecting a diamond ring plus a substantial wedding and honeymoon.

If he closes down after you've been specific (and non-blaming) about wanting to discuss a time frame, then your relationship is less healthy than you think, because the communication about the future has no substance, only daydreaming.

I work for a large organization, as does my boyfriend of one year (we've known each other for three years). We also happen to work together. We're in the same job position in the same division but seldom actually work together.

He has a young son from a previous relationship, and we're planning on moving in together by the end of this year. However, my boyfriend hasn't yet told our colleagues that his previous relationship ended.

I've asked him about this on several occasions, and his answer was, he didn't want to look like a "dead-beat dad." On several instances, when others asked about his relationship in general, he avoided the question and didn't come clean.

I believe it makes him look shady. I'm not asking that he tell people we're dating, but I feel that this fib has spiraled. Now that we may spend our lives together, I feel it'll be hard to explain, if and when, it comes out at work.

Confused

Some logic is missing here. Firstly, it WILL come out soon enough that you two are together and most people will assume that you've been having an affair while he was still married. If this matters to him, or to you, it's better to clear it up now and say that he's separated already.

Secondly, a "dead-beat Dad" is defined as someone who doesn't pay child support, after he's left the marriage. Since you don't indicate at all that this is the case, it's an odd excuse for him to use.

If he really means that he didn't want people to think or know he cheated (if he actually did cheat with you) then, again, the sooner he says he's separated, the better.

However, some people just hate being gossiped about. And that may be the emotional discomfort that's missing in his explanation. Unfortunately, it's inevitable when people work together and there's a break-up and a relationship going on in their midst. There will be talk. Tell him this fact: The speculation and chatter usually quiets down once the truth is out.

Six months after I met this guy on the Internet, he visited me here. Since then, he's been swearing openly with me.

Now he's moving here to be with me. I love him and believe he loves me too, but I'm too sensitive when he starts swearing, especially when we fight.

I said I felt disrespected, but he said he's not changing for anyone. Accept it or leave. He's a nice, loving, and good person, it's just that he says he grew up with swearing. What should I do?

Dis-respected

Tell him that everyone makes changes and compromises when they find real love... that's part of growing together into a couple. You'll have to make some changes too, and should point that out to him.

But "growing up swearing" means that it was mutually accepted and meant less in that environment where he lived. For you, it means hurt feelings. Do NOT accept it.