My husband and I have raised five amazing children, in a happy home, where we've constantly encouraged and praised our kids. Last summer, our youngest, 14, started behaving oddly - isolating himself, saying that he relates better to animals and that humans are destroying the earth, animals, etc.

Lately, he's dressing up in a furry costume, even publicly. I warned that, if seen by schoolmates, it might cause bullying. He says he doesn't care - this is who he is.

My husband and I have no clue how to approach this behaviour. We know nothing about "furries." He's perfect in every other aspect - smart and talented.
Very Worried

Approach through his intelligence and interests. Ask him to help you understand the "furry" concept, and get informed yourself. There's a variety of information available on the Internet - e.g. a "furry" is a person with an interest in anthropomorphic (human-like) animals. This interest can range from an innocuous hobby of furry fandom and fanzines, to a fetish.   

Your son's grappling with the gap between idealism and reality, which some young people feel acutely. Be on his side, encouraging his desire to improve the world, rather than just scared or thinking he's weird.

You and your husband should talk to a therapist who's experienced with highly sensitive teens. It doesn't mean your son's unbalanced. I'm suggesting you get guidance, professionally, about how to deal with the direction he's taken.

Also, stay closely supportive so that he doesn't need to rebel in other areas, like school. And monitor his Internet contacts, to assure he isn't being influenced towards anything harmful.

For two years there've been family plans for a trip to my father's country of birth, including our partners. Yet my sister's just decided on a destination wedding in the same year.

I cannot do both because, working on contract, I shouldn't ask for extra time. Nor am I willing to take an unpaid leave, because I just bought a house last year. Also, spending $15,000 for both my partner and I to take two trips in one year is crazy.

I've suggested she schedule her wedding sooner and we postpone the family trip, or that she hold the wedding in our father's homeland... but was shot down.
I should be the big sister and there for her, but I refuse to miss out on this last chance to go on a trip with our father, plus I'm feeling uneasy about spending all this money.
Torn

It's clear that you can't convince your sister to change her plans, but what of your parents.... can they postpone the family trip a year? Or, convince their youngest to marry sooner?

If not, you must make a choice, and instead of feeling that your sister's causing you difficulty, look at this like any other difficult decision. Weigh the pros and cons.

Short of anyone else making changes, I recommend making both trips - each important for long-term family relationships, and both memorable and particularly important to your closest relatives.

It's not your sister's concern that you bought a house. She has her own factors moving her toward the wedding date she's chosen. Asking for some extra time off for these two special occasions will not surprise your employer... it'll either be granted or not.

If not, a brief unpaid leave of absence, if accepted, won't make you poverty-stricken. Perhaps your parents can help pay toward the trip, or loan you what's needed. If not, short-term budgeting will help.

My fiancée of four months and I are marrying less than a year after we met. I'm 42, she's 47. We both knew instantly that we were perfect for each other.

Our kids get along amazingly. We've had people say to "slow down," "what's the rush?" But we can't help our feelings and can't imagine life any other way. We've been living together for two months.
My ex isn't happy with how fast we're moving and has tried to slow us down, but why? Because she's not ready? Our kids sure are ready, ecstatic that we're a family together.
We don't have to live our lives for anyone else other than ourselves, within reason. One's happiness should not be limited or slowed down because a third party isn't ready.

Certain

Every couple's situation is unique, and yours sounds blessed. Remember that even in "perfect" circumstances, there'll be adjustments to the new reality.