Since the beginning of my eight-year marriage, our sex life subsided to about once a month, sometimes less. We have two children.
Several months ago my husband got a message saying: "Sorry, I didn't even have a second break... Good night!"
He became very scared, repeating to me: "Sorry Baby, it's a mistake.”

I insisted he call her right back. Refusing at first, he then said, "Call yourself." I did, on speakerphone. When the woman said "Hello" I put the phone close to him asking him to clarify whether this was a mistake.
He then said, very loudly, "(my name), why are you doing this?"
The woman quickly hung up and has since changed her phone number.
He’s still denying any wrongdoing.
It’s killing me. I think he's been cheating and continues to cheat.
I continue to question him, but he keeps denying everything.
Now, assuming he's cheated, I am planning to do the same. I’m still young and attractive. Divorce would be traumatic for the kids. Is there any solution to this?

Taking Action

You might as well take a wrecking ball to your family unit.

Many “solutions” are needed, and fast:

1) Think again about those children you think you’ll protect by cheating on their father.

2) Talk to a lawyer and learn your rights, as well as how a separation and child support works. Then tell your husband the facts of life.

3) Understand that your cheating would now take even more family time and focus away from your kids. And from any hope of helping this marriage.

4) Even if he denies cheating, explain how necessary getting marital counselling is for both of you. You’re at a turning point as a family unit, facing a fix or a break-up.

My then-married co-worker and I started an affair, after I had become divorced. Then he finally got separated too.

But, he’s since become closer buddies with a single guy, it seems like he wants to date, too. We’re lovers again, and supposedly together, but still living apart.

He’s constantly talking to this one woman, “comforting” her because her husband left. He says they’re just friends. But I’m sure that it’s more, and definitely so on her part.

Distracted Lover

He’s feeling, “Free at last!” But he’s not. He’s playing in two worlds. Tell him he’s either in or Out with you.

If In, you get to go along sometimes when he’s with his friends, especially when with this woman.

When she sees you as a couple, she’ll hopefully turn elsewhere for “comfort.” If not, he can distance himself by giving her a therapist’s phone number.

But any resistance on his part to have you along or distance himself, is a signal for you to take a break from an old story that’s changed the plot.

I met a man in Atlantic City and we hit it off. He was married but pursued me, and we had a secret affair. He now says he’s ready to leave his wife and move in with me. He wants to meet my family and be open.

My parents are very conservative and will suspect it was an affair while he was married. I’ve lied to them about “different men” I’ve been dating.

Now do I let them think what they want, or be truthful?

Embarrassed Daughter 

Show your parents respect for their sensitivities. Avoid detailed truth telling that will cause them to feel hurt and potential shame among relatives and friends.

Whenever my husband and I make love, I say it was the best ever. It makes him feel that he’s a hero for satisfying me (which sometimes happens, though not always), and it keeps us feeling close.

I don’t fake anything, because I’m happy to be loving even if it isn’t perfect. We make sure not much time goes by between lovemaking. I think my “best ever” white lie works for us.

Best Ever

Sounds good to me, and it’s keeping you both happy. He probably knows he’s not the super stud you make him out to be, but loves you for saying so.

There’s no harm in trying to make the “best ever” even better, by trying something new - wearing sexy lingerie, adding a new element like shower-sex, or making love in front of the fireplace, whatever comes to mind and body.

The well-maintained sexual bond between a couple keeps your emotional connection healthy too.