I met a lady three years ago while separated from my wife. We had a great relationship. I told her everything, never lied to her.

I fell in love with her. We talked about marriage. She’s been a single mom since she left her son’s father four weeks before their child, now 14, was born. Her ex had become militant.

She’s had boyfriends, one for three years, but he started slapping her around. Another was for 18 months and behaved the same way.

Several years later, I treat her like a queen. She said she didn’t know how to handle it. I got my separation papers signed by my wife so that I could have a new life with this beautiful lady.

Now she’s unsure what she wants. I’d kept her informed, step-by-step. She knew that I pushed for the separation papers, to have a better life, and also because I wanted to be with her.

My heart hasn’t stopped hurting for her, I’ve been trying to discuss a second try and a leap of faith, but things are still up in the air.

She’s everything I want in a lady and I want her in my life. I’ve talked to a couple of professionals and they can't figure it out.

Bewildered In Love

She’s used to abusive treatment and, for some unfortunate reason, seeks it. Luckily, she knows enough to get away from physical danger after awhile. Though you were different, she’s uncomfortable, hasn’t been able to adjust.

However, she may never want to share or even explore why she’s attracted to violent men. That would likely require a trust and commitment that is foreign to her so far.

Your only hope is to urge her to see a counselor for her own sake, not about your relationship. It’ll show her love that transcends just getting her back, but actually healing some past deep wounds. Since she’s a single mom, you may have to help her financially to get this help, another great show of your feelings for her and support.

I was recently "forced" to cut ties with an ex. We were together for a year and promised to remain good friends due to the strong love originally.

She began a new relationship instantly, after we decided we were best as friends. Then suddenly she was having issues at home and began to smoke weed “to escape” her problems (her words).

She also became nonchalant towards school, which is something she NEVER did.

I began a new relationship and when I made it known via Instagram I got a text the next day saying she was cutting ties with me completely and wished me well ON THANKSGIVING.

I'm still concerned about her. Since I was ordered to end contact, should I contact her family to get her some help? I'm concerned that she isn't in her right mind and is headed towards a dangerous track.

Bad Signs

Make some inquiries, if possible, without her hearing about them. Whoever’s told you she’s “nonchalant” should be able to be more specific, especially about whether it’s still going on.

If you know someone close to her, say you’re worried about some changes you detect, and would appreciate that person looking further, and perhaps alerting her family.

Should nothing work, contact her again, and say how much you’d hoped to stay friends as agreed, and wish to connect. Try using the Christmas season as an enticement.

My son, 11, still undresses in front of me. I’m often in his room, shared with his brother, five, when he’ll change his clothes. I’ll see him naked almost daily.

We’re both comfortable with this. However, when my sister was visiting with her son, five, she and I were getting our little ones ready for bed. My older son walked in and began to undress. My sister was shocked and suggested it wasn’t right.

Naked Uncertainty

Her standards/comfort differ from yours, possibly because her child hasn’t reached the same age phase. But even then, she or her son may be uncomfortable with his nakedness. You’re not.

So long as your son’s behavior is natural, not exhibitionist, he’ll likely decide for himself when he wants to undress privately.

Still, he should be told, without embarrassing him, not to undress in front of others, including his aunt. Hopefully, you’ve had the “No one touches you” talk.