I've never been in a relationship (hard to believe, I know!)

It’s bothered me a lot. I have little confidence in myself when it comes to talking with the ladies.

I feel I’ve been deprived of the important "need" in life of being loved by someone.

I’d like some dating tips on how I can overcome this dilemma. Also, please recommend some good, safe dating site(s) so I can start off small and see if I’m successful.

Eager to Start

Here are general “tips:”

Start “small” in expectations: Know that dating experiences vary, a poor match isn’t your fault. Even when you like someone, it takes time to develop a relationship.

Practice for dating through your friendships with women e.g. through work, shared interests, etc., where conversation becomes natural, without anxiety.

Tell new friends and old ones that you’re open to being set up for dates.

When you meet someone new, listen more than talk. Ask non-intrusive questions about her life, her work, her family.

Do not have a fixed check list of what a potential date must be like.

Go slow.

I don’t promote specific dating sites. But I believe that the free ones have too large a following (including players and scammers) for someone new to online dating.

Whatever site you join, read the profiles to learn what approach seems comfortable for you. When creating your own, be yourself. Say that you’re hoping eventually to build a relationship.

Don’t lie about your age, your finances, or use an old photo. When the truth’s revealed, it goes against you.

Dear Readers –I’ll publish a selection of your brief emails describing what’s worked for you in developing both dating smarts and personal confidence.

Here’s my son, 19, vs. my daughter, 16.

My daughter doesn’t want her ex-best friend (who is "two-faced" and also friends with my son) anywhere around her AT ALL.

I don't have a problem with this girl, myself. I think that teenage drama is just that - drama.

My daughter’s " true" to her friends, which is good. The issue: My son invited this ex-bff over "to chill." My daughter doesn't want her over. She says it's disrespecting her.

I understand her point, but at the same time she's my son's friend, too, and when I allowed it to happen my daughter told me that I “didn't have her back."

Does this make me the bad person? She left in her car all upset with her brother and me. I'm questioning myself now because her words cut pretty deep.

If I'm the bad guy, let me know how I can fix this.

Woe Is Me

A 16-year-old with her own car (if that’s what you meant) may already have too much power in a family drama, which she’s created.

No one sibling should be able to control which of the other’s friends they can see.

IF she had a solid reason and not just a passing anger at her “ex-BFF,” she could’ve explained it to her brother, and asked for his support.

Then he could’ve been more considerate by seeing that person outside of the house, till the storm passed.

Meanwhile, parents should try their best to stay out of these dramas – because they’re usually passing events – and because you should not be seen taking sides.

Apologize for that, it’ll mean a lot to her.

Then have a family conversation about everyone’s responsibility to be respectful, with no one person ordering the other’s responses.

FEEDBACK Regarding the “Bored Online Dater” (July 4):

Reader – “I’m a happily married senior, with time to read anything that catches my attention.

“I wish that you had called out "Bored Online Dater" on the comment about conversations with his/her grandmother.

“Saying "I've had better conversations with my grandmother about current issues in our city and world events!" obviously implies that somehow one should not expect any awareness or analytic ability from a grandparent.

“By extension then, any younger person who cannot even come up to that (implied) low standard cannot be considered for a role as companion/date.

“The irony is that, partly because of having more leisure time available, older people quite often are far more aware of current events and have enough background to discuss them intelligently.”

Ellie – Glad this putdown caught your attention. Ageism is as narrow-minded as any other devaluing of groups of people.