For most of my life, I’ve had a strong attraction to the bottoms of women’s feet. There’s something about broad wrinkly soles and strong heels that I find so appealing. Is there a biological reason for this?
      - Foot Fetishist

For those readers who think this writer is just having fun with me, here’s the bottom line on foot fetishism: Known also as podophilia, it refers to a pronounced sexual interest in feet or footwear. And it’s considered by those who conduct studies of such things to be the most common form of sexual preference for otherwise non-sexual objects or body parts.      
      It appears that it’s mostly men who have this sexual interest, and mostly males who are turned on specifically by female feet, but the reason hasn’t been well researched. But, according to Wikipedia, the first surviving mention of foot fetish is by Bertold of Regensburg in 1220. So we do know that foot fetishism as a reality has been around for a long time.    
      And foot-related sexual play historically becomes more popular during sexual disease scares (the gonorrhea epidemic of 12th century Europe, and the syphilis epidemics of 16th and 19th centuries in Europe plus the modern AIDS epidemic) as a form of safe sex.     
      One fascinating theory posited in their book Phantoms in the Brain, by neurologist V.S. Ramachandran and science-writer S. Blakeslee is that the brain areas for the feet and the genitals are next to each other, possibly entailing some neural crosstalk between the two, which can be a cause of foot fetishism.

I’ve been married for 22 years to a man with a temper and a short fuse. Whenever I express my thoughts, feelings, or opinions, if they differ from my husband’s he says he feels threatened, put down and needs to fight back - swift and hard - and to defend himself.     
      More often than not, my “tone” is interpreted by him to be a personal attack when none is intended. He then overreacts: He criticizes and blames me, rants and uses his anger to control the situation and me.     
      He’s harsh on strangers as well - road rage and verbal attacks. I used to worry about someone taking a baseball bat out and coming back at him. You were right  (in a previous column, August 6) about the atmosphere of his childhood. My husband grew up with a critical and controlling mother. He now sees me through he veil of his mother.     
      We’ve been to couples counselling and individual therapy; he’s even taken Anger Management courses. But no luck! I know he loves me but I can't continue living in fear of his angry responses and reactions. I try not to blame him but to focus on making the relationship better. I'm afraid he can't or won't change. We can’t save or change anyone else - only ourselves.  
      - Still Hurting

Thank you for a stark view of the reality of living with someone whose anger is an ever-ticking time bomb. Your poignant description of your own efforts to improve the situation over years, and its fruitlessness, is a cautionary tale to others who feel they can transform an angry soul.    
      To help you “save yourself,” I recommend creating and maintaining a network of supportive family and friends; plus keeping up satisfying activities outside the home. If you do choose to leave your husband, make sure you plan ahead for your own safety regarding how you exit and where you go.

I’m a single senior and have made a will allotting equal parts of my estate to my niece and my nephew. They don’t live far away but never call. We had a good relationship when they were young. It doesn’t help for me to call them – both are married and busy with small children.    
      My only other living relative is their father, who’s in long-term care and has no financial need. Am I obligated to leave the money to them or should I give it to my favourite charities?
      - Unsure

It’s YOUR money to allot as you truly please. The charities rely on donors and would certainly benefit from your generosity. Your younger relatives will probably inherit from their father, in time. If you wish to honour the relationship you once enjoyed, you could leave a smaller sum each towards their children’s education, and the major portion to the charities.